Sunday, December 10, 2006

Concert Etiquette For Hippies

I went to a show last night with Patry, and it was for a band who shall remain nameless. Anyway, the show was pretty good, but the band is a bit of a jam/hippie band and attracted a hippie crowd, something I hadn't seen since I was in college.

While I enjoyed the show, I was distracted by the crowd of hippies who really don't care about fellow concert goers. So, here are some lessons on concert etiquette:

1. Shower: Please don't be afraid of taking a shower. It won't hurt you - it's only water streaming down to make you clean. Seriously, it's just common courtesy, people. There were a whole lot of people with that bad B.O. smell and at a small-ish club, that's unacceptable.

2. Dancing: If you're a hippie and dancing, I'll let you in on a secret: you dance like an asshole and you're taking up 10 feet of valuable space because you're dancing like an asshole. An example:

Stop dancing. Now.

3. Shoes: Dancing hippies, please put on shoes. I was wearing shoes and sticking to the floor. Pretty nasty. Some hippie dancers were barefoot and dancing around on the same floor that my shoes were sticking too. That's just wrong!

4. Quilted Pants: There is a reason that no store in the history of successful commerce sold pants that are quilted together: They look stupid. Just plain idiotic. Please don't wear them.

5. Crowd Courtesy: If you're 6'4", stay at the back of the crowd. If you're standing in that spot before I got there, I won't stand behind you and bitch. But in mid-concert, don't move in front of me because there's an opening. I'm 5'10" - I'm not in your way. Maybe you could stay out of mine.

Now please, stop dancing like an asshole and put some shoes on.


Blake! said...

What a bunch of drug soaked hippies! Thank god for You Tube.

Leebo said...

Brain, you love Phish. Elaine Morrisey would be proud.

Anonymous said...

HA! You're afraid of hippies!

Brian said...

Isn't everyone afraid of hippies?

Leeroy Jenkins said...

HAHA! It WAS a Phish concert - I just read Patry's "birthday" blog posting! Dude, you stink of patchouli - go splash on some Old Spice, cool?

Gwen said...

I like to think I'm a pretty open-minded person, but man, do I hate hippies.

DopeDaddy said...

I don't like hippies. I don't like their dancing. I don't like their hygene, or lack of it.