Sunday, January 07, 2007

The First Los Angeles Trip: 10 Years Later, Day 2

Well, that first day was somewhat...tame, right? Well, this entry includes vomit, poop discussions, and dry counties. Enjoy.

Tuesday, January 7, 1997

Jackson, TN to Clarksville, AR
341 Miles

5:08 PM: We’re driving through Arkansas as I write. It’s been a busy day.

Last night, we spent the night in Jackson, TN. We got two rooms for the 12 of us: 7 guys in one room, 5 girls in the other. For dinner, the guys wanted “real” food, so we went to Barnhill's Country Buffet. All of us ate a ton, and after we were done, we all took turns running to the restaurant's bathroom. We also talked about “the perfect shit” and that based on a rating between a 5 (hardest) to 1 (softest), a 3.8 would be perfect. On the walk back to our hotel, I wasn’t feeling too well from overeating and threw up in a parking lot. All of the guys saw it and had quite a laugh. Since then, I’ve been called “Vomit” and “Buffet.”

We hung out in our room and drank beers and played a game of “Asshole.” Dawn and Bonnie were the only girls that came up to join in. No one drank too much, but we all had a good time. The "asshole" had to deal with some humiliation - for most of the game, they had to wear the empty beer case on their head, aka, the asshole hat. Bryan was the “asshole” for most of our game and as a punishment, he had to sit in a crib that was in our hotel room.

I started to fall asleep on the floor at 11:30pm. Everyone saw and loved Dave’s “bag” that he sleeps with. (NOTE FROM 2007: Willer has slept with "bag" since 4th grade - it's an old bookbag that he uses like some use a specific blanket from childhood to rub for comfort. It's a legend amongst those who know Dave. Moving on...)

As we were trying to sleep, everyone started farting, and Dave thought he might throw up. and Mather kept trying to get Dave to puke by mentioning things like, “Hot mayonnaise! Eat a moldy bar of cream cheese like a candy bar!” Sadly, Dave toughed it out and didn’t get sick.

9:10pm: We’re now in a Best Western in Clarkesville, AK. I had to take a break from writing in the car because it got dark. Anyway…we woke up early this morning and grabbed some stuff at the free breakfast. We were tossing around a Nerf football in the parking lot of the hotel and I got hit in the crotch – very painful.

We got out of Jackson without any problems and drove about 2 hours to Memphis, TN. Our first stop of the day was at Graceland. We got a tape player and headphones for our audio tour. The place was awesome! This was the home of the King! Gold records were everywhere! It was huge! The racquetball house was pretty cool – it was the last place Elvis played music before he died. I couldn’t believe how tacky some of it was - there's carpet on the ceiling. I really wanted to run upstairs to see the bathroom where Elvis died, but it’s restricted. When were down in the TV room, I wondered which of his three TV’s he shot. We also enjoyed seeing his “Taking Care of Business in a Flash” logo on everything. Amusing.

After Graceland, we got lunch and split up. The two Jen’s, Dawn, and Michelle drove to Clarksville, while the rest of us wanted to see Memphis. We drove over to Sun Records, but the tour was too expensive ($7.50), so we just took some pictures outside. We then drove down Beale Street, which is where a lot of Blues and R&B artists started. It was a real lively, exciting place to look at. I wish we stopped longer, but we had to get on the road.

We drove to Mud Island, which is a small island between Memphis and Arkansas and saw the Memphis Belle. We hung around the Mississippi River for a while, and the sun started to set, so we got some great views of the sun setting over the Mississippi.

Bryan and I had a good time driving, listening to some Beastie Boys and Howard Stern, and talked about childhood memories.

We’re now in our hotel, deliberating how much money is needed for a quick beer run. We’re getting 40’s. Dave and Mike have declared that we (the guys) should hit a strip club in Vegas. I don’t think all of the girls will be coming to Vegas with us.

People down here (the locals) seem to be scared about the possibility of a snow “storm” hitting the area. About 3-6 inches are expected to fall. It’s very funny to hear them getting all ready for this massive storm.

11:09pm Update: Mike yells, “Never come to Arkansas again!” He and Andrew went to get some beer. They went to the store next door, but they don’t sell beer. The exchange went something like this:

Andrew: “Where can you get beer?”
Chasier: “Not in this county, it’s drah (southern accent saying ‘dry’).”
Andrew: “Dry?”
Casheir: “Its drah! Drah! Drah! Drah! Drah! Drah!”

So Andrew and Mike drove to the next county to get beer, but they came back 45 minutes later empty handed. When they got to the nearest town that sold beer, the stores were closed. (and apparently, the sign to that town said “Population: 58.” That means our 12 person caravan makes up almost a quarter of their population.) Arkansas isn’t too popular with everyone right now.


PVision said...

I would like to clarify that it is Dave Willer, aka The Dope Daddy, who sleeps with a nappy bookbag. I have no such sleeping companion.

-Dave P.

Callahan said...

Dry county was a first for me. I never heard of such a thing. Andrew was shocked that there was no beer for sale. He asks the cashier what they do for fun around here. Her response, "we have dances."

Graceland was fun. TCB in a flash was like our new slogan for the trip. Patry and I were in my car and on the way to Graceland we we jamming to Paul Simon's Graceland.

Brian said...

I totally forgot that you guys hopped out of the car singing "Graceland." That was such a great tour. I might have to go back there some day.

Dope Daddy said...

I love that we thought $7.50 was too expensive!!! I just spent that much at Starbucks.

Milanese was my driving buddy. I had just bought a new car (Chevrolet Cavalier) and wouldn't let anyone else drive it, so I did all the driving. Luckily we had the same taste in music because we listened to all of my mix tapes. In fact, on that Route 66 postcard that is on my web page (, where Andrew Milanese signed his name, he even wrote 'mix tapes' as a fun reminder. I'll have to look back and see what was on those mix tapes.

Callahan said...

Another fun memory is that a few of us pissed in the Mississippi River, and for some reason we thought it was a really cool thing to do.

PVision said...

I will admit that I peed in the Mississippi River. I'm not sure why, and I wasn't alone, but I did it.

Brian said...

I could not piss in the Miss, mainly, I think, because of stage fright.

Mather said...

I can tell you what was on those mix tapes ... everything awful and mostly Celine.