Live From Rodney Drive

Wait, I Had A Blog?!

2011-11-17T19:49:00.000-08:00

Oh right, this thing...the blog I wrote on for a few years sporadically. Right. The last entry, unfortunately was "Getting This Thing Off The Ground." Whoops. Sorry, blog, Facebook and twitter beckoned. I forgot about you.

So, for the two of you who still subscribe to the RSS feed and haven't been bombarded with emails from me, I made a short. If you love sports, than this is perfect for you!! If you hate sports, maybe you'll love watching two women drink wine and laugh! If you hate all of the above, then just hit play because your pain will be over within two and a half minutes.

Here it is (and feel free to share it if you like it!):

Football Widow No More - watch more funny videos

Getting This Thing Off the Ground

2010-05-17T15:37:00.000-07:00

I've been ignoring the blog for no good reason other than procrastination. Today is my first step in ending the long hibernation. I want this blog to get updated regularly. Make this thing soar again...get it off the ground...feel the wind beneath my wings.

And the most appropriate way of doing that?

Show a video of a flying lawnmower.

Every Rose Has Its Thorn...

2010-01-09T17:32:00.000-08:00

Since we moved in, we've been eyeing this massive, overgrown rose bush as something we want to remove. It grows fast and it overtakes a massive chunk of our garden. Plus, local cats love to go back there and poop, and then Togi likes to go back and eat said poop, then Togi gets worms, then we de-worm, and then he goes back and eats cat poop and we're back at square one.

This week, we began another de-worming (good times, btw), and Heather and I decided to finally scale back the beastly rose bush.

Here's the bush...

Side angle for perspective...

I began cutting and hacking so I could get to the center of it all. After about an hour, here's the dent I made...

The first time we trimmed it back, which was about 10 months ago, we found a soccer ball. Today, we found a basketball, football, and three tennis balls. We also uncovered a bird fountain and a light fixture. Both had been overtaken and broken up by the rose bush.

I went power tool crazy...And Heather just went crazy...
Our arms and legs were beyond scratched. They're still burning from the thorns.
We finally finished cutting it down about 6-7 hours after we started. We went from this...

To this...
Side angle before...
Side angle after...
Our final result...
Nothing beats a good day of yard work.

Christmas Shopping

2009-12-01T12:41:00.000-08:00

I need to do some Christmas shopping...and by some, I mean all. Then, I stumbled onto this commercial and now I know exactly where I'm going to get everyone's gifts:

To the DeLorean!!!

Stop Motion World Series

2009-11-18T11:55:00.000-08:00

I got this from another blog - a time lapse of the Yankees Game 6 victory to win the World Series by photographer Robert Caplin. It's 5000 pictures to make this little video. Pretty awesome.

World Series Time-Lapse by Robert Caplin from Robert Caplin on Vimeo.

Best Costume Winners

2009-10-31T09:04:00.001-07:00

I haven't seen a single person in costume in person yet, but these two guys win best costume award for the next 3 years based on this:

Monster Parties

2009-10-31T04:26:00.000-07:00

Not my favorite Mr. Show sketch, but it has some good moments and is perfect for today:

The Frighteners

2009-10-30T20:04:00.001-07:00

As I continue to honor Halloween with random videos, I present to you my favorite video where someone gets "scared." It's a classic.

Gearing Up For Halloween

2009-10-30T19:39:00.000-07:00

It's not Halloween yet, but I figured I'd get into the spirit with a song that celebrates both Halloween and every young Jewish boy's transition to manhood.

Happy 4th!

2009-07-04T13:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, a few things:

1. Today is the 70th anniversary of Lou Gehrig's "I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth" speech at Yankee Stadium, one of the greatest speeches of all time. ESPN has put up a lot of his letters from his final year - click here - they're a sad, but interesting read.

2. Today is the 26th anniversary of Dave Righetti's no-hitter against the Red Sox. I remember sitting in the Gaztke's pool next door, listening to it on the radio. Still seems like yesterday.

3. Happy Birthday, America...and if you aren't America'd out yet, here's some serious patriotism from a guy who craps red, white, and blue.

What are you waiting for? Go install that "USA" button in your car...right NOW!!!

Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

2009-06-06T17:49:00.000-07:00

I have been back from the bush for a week and a half now, and life is finally getting normal again. Last weekend, I was still tired from being up north and decided to just have a lazy weekend. But today, I woke up, ready to rock and get some things done around the house.

Things got so crazy with wedding planning, that our garden became a jungle. We had been working on clear it out, but we were forced to stop working on it, and then the overgrowth took it over. My goal today was to start clearing out a lot of the weeds that grew back. Good times.

So Heather and I spent hours pulling and digging up roots and cleared a lot of crap that needed to be done. Here's one side of the path before...
And that side after...
There's still some growth, but the path is now walkable, and our peach tree (center-right) is no longer covered by massive weeds. Here's the other side before...
...and after.It's really nice to have a path to walk around now. We got a little help with the weeding from Togi, who seemed to enjoy walking around with his piece of a sunflower that had come unrooted.
The little guy was exhausted after all of our work...
But as soon as he saw the camera, he perked up to be camera ready. Heather's trained him well - what a pro!Also, we're working on getting our grapes to grow over our deck lattice. We're pretty excited to see that our grapes are growing pretty quickly.
Really, I just wanted to post a blog to show cute pictures of Togi. This seemed like a good excuse.

Some Pictures

2009-05-28T11:23:00.001-07:00

Alaska Attacks!!!

2009-05-27T17:40:00.000-07:00

Hi Rodney Drive Readers - I started writing this when I was still in Alaska, but didn't finish it while I was there.

My trip to Alaska is coming to a close shortly, and I’m now at the point where I’m counting down the hours until my flight…at the moment, it’s 25 hours…

I’ve been busy trying to watch tapes and figure out what we’ve got on our hands (and so far, there’s still a lot of tape to watch.) I’ve been landlocked the last couple of days, which is fine. It can get overwhelming looking at the stack of work, so I can easily get lost for hours just screening things.

Yesterday, I got an opportunity to get away from my tapes for a few hours – myself and some of the crew took a skiff upriver (sorry, don't know the name of it) to shoot some beauty shots for the show.

The sun was out. It was early and there was a bit of an early morning chill. But it didn’t matter – I was going upriver, something that everyone here says we needed to do.

After carefully navigating the sandbars near the beach, our driver, Paul, began speeding upriver. It was one of the most amazing boat rides I’ve ever been on – around every bend, there was yet a more spectacular view of the snow-topped mountains. The river was hugged by trees and marshland.
As we neared one bank, I heard shouts of, “MOOSE!” No, Mike Mussina wasn’t in the marshland – it was a pregnant female moose. (Not only cool, but a good score for B-Roll!) Luckily, we caught the moose as she was crossing the stream, and got to see her climb out and stumble into the marshlands.

We also spotted an Eagle, standing proud above us. My first thought, of course, was that it must be Stephen Colbert’s Eagle, Stephen Junior. He then flew off into the sky, probably off to protect America or something.

I can't fly higher than an Eagle...

After driving upriver a while longer, we stopped to do a little fishing. Instead of fishing at this stop, I wandered into the marshland, exploring slightly…and by exploring, I mean walking about 50-yards through the brush.
Our driver pointed out moose droppings, and thought bears could be nearby. This is why I only explored about 50-yards.

Isn't "Moose Droppings" a Ben & Jerry's flavor?

We headed upriver to yet another fishing spot. Our guide caught a fish within minutes, but our crew was not having much success…that is, until I grabbed the rod.

A casting session in Alaska...get it...casting!

I cast about 5 or 6 times, and was about to hand it off, when I did one more for the hell of it. The water was so clear, I could see my lure coming in towards the skiff. About five feet away from the engine, I saw something shiny go after my lure – A FISH!!! HOLY SHIT, A FISH!!!

This became a deep fried appetizer.

Sure, enough, that sonofabitch grabbed hold and I brought it up. It was a dolly – a delicious fish I had tried earlier in the week. If anything, this trip has turned me from a wuss, to a slightly more outdoorsy wuss.

After taking our trip, one of our shooter/producers and I walked through town to meet the Mayor and do an interview with him. We found him – working in the general store. I guess he owns/runs the store. As we set up for the interview, I was talking to him about the election. He initially got involved by getting elected to the town council – the position was up for grabs and he beat someone else by winning a coin flip. Then, when the Mayor’s office was up for grabs, the council voted whether he or another guy should become mayor. It was a tie vote about 5 or 6 times, he said, and that’s when he finally switched and voted for himself.

The one thing I’ve talked a little bit about is the shopping in Togiak – there really isn’t much “commerce” there – two stores, a post office, a couple of B&B’s, and people selling their homemade beaded jewelry and ivory.

Anytime I go on a trip, I love going to the local markets to see what things they carry and how much things are. Obviously, since this town is so remote, everything is beyond expensive. So, I decided to take some pics to share the cost of living with you…

Shotguns anyone?

Also, he's some pics from the brush fire across the street from the house - yes, the locals put it out using buckets and the fire department arrived when it was all done.

Togi The Dog

2009-05-23T14:17:00.000-07:00

So in my last post, I mentioned the little dog who was hanging around.
The little guy and his little brother were wandering around the area, clearly looking for food, no real home to go to. His brother was slightly standoffish, but the little blonde guy bonded with me very quickly. No one had fed him in forever, so I was slipping him some crackers and snacks. He was BEYOND thrilled to eat. I took a liking to this little guy, but didn't think much about him until I heard about most dogs in this little Village.

People here don't treat their dogs right (the couple who run this B&B treat their dog fantastically and are the exception to the rule). Everyone has their dogs chained up outside, with very little room to run. There is very little human contact for these dogs, and they all look very hungry and thirsty. It's heartbreaking.

A lot of unwanted puppies get born and roam around. As these dogs grow up and begin to roam, they get into a lot of danger. Apparently, there are strict leash laws, and when dogs go wandering around the village, there are people who will shoot the strays for being off-leash. These strays can also get eaten by bears. Seriously.

So after hearing about this, the entire crew was thinking about saving this little guy and his brother. We talked about taking the little brother, who was black, off to the Time Bandit so they could have a new mascot (their old dog died recently). Someone asked the alleged "owner" about it, and the "owner" said they could have the dog as long as they bring it back. These people don't care about the dog - they just want some money. So the other day, the black dog just disappeared. My guess is that they held onto it knowing the show may take it.

But the little blondie kept showing up, looking for crackers for me. And also looking to lick my face. He was so sweet. So I talked with some of the locals here, and they said it'd be fine just to take him and not tell anyone. Then I talked with Heather about it, and we decided that this little guy deserved a better shot at life than what he'd have here, so we're bringing him back to LA. Yup, that's right, Winnie's got a new "frien-emy!"So we've decided to name him Togiak, but we're calling him Togi. The little guy's been staying with me for the last four days. We've had a few rough patches of piss and shit on the floor and some teething issues, but otherwise, he's awesome. And he doesn't love the cold, wet Alsaka weather. This guy is clearly made for LA.
I think he's a mix between a huskie and a lab, but not really sure. I actually saw a dog today that looked like an adult version of him. It may be his mother or father - and that dog also looked like a mutt. That's a good thing

Alaska Strikes Back (And This Time, It's Personal!!)

2009-05-19T23:23:00.000-07:00

Two nights ago, it was my turn to go out to visit Time Bandit. The weather had dropped from 60 degrees to 40 degrees with some rain. To get out to Time Bandit, we have to take an open, uncovered skiff. So that meant one thing: layers. I put on an undershirt, a long sleeve t-shirt, a sweatshirt, a hoodie, and my waterproof neon-green jacket. On the way to the skiff, we stopped at the store in town to buy goggles – there was only one pair left for me: the pink ones. So there I was, wearing bright orange waterproof overalls, a neon green jacket, and pink goggles. I looked like a box of Pastel Crayola Crayons.

So six of us (four of us were from the show) board this tiny skiff, out to make the 10-15 mile journey out to Time Bandit.

Our skiff - Carnival Cruise Lines, beware!!

Because of the close quarters in the small boat, I had my back to the front, so I had no idea what was coming. The ride was beyond bumpy – the weather had made the sea into a choppy mess. I could feel my back getting sprayed by the ocean and by the pounding rain. Luckily, my jacket and hood kept me warm and covered. But about halfway there, the massive bumps had sped up the process of my bladder and churned up dinner - I realized I had to go to the bathroom. Badly. And hitting the bumpy sea without being able to watch it, made it all the worse. I did think at one point that I may actually have to either mess myself or peel off all my layers and unload in the sea.

Luckily, I was able to keep myself from letting go in front of my crew. But as soon as we got to the Time Bandit, I made a B-line to the bathroom. Luckily, the bathroom was nice and clean, and everything went well…until I flushed. Yup, that’s right, I clogged the Time Bandit’s bathroom. My God, was I freaking out – would the crew turn the camera on me if they found out? Would I be thrown overboard? Mocked mercilessly? I plunged and I plunged and I plunged some more. After about ten minutes, no luck. I peeked my head out, and luckily, their greenhorn (or newest crew member) came walking by. I asked him for his help and within 30 seconds, he had that toilet working like it was never clogged. I could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

Yesterday was fairly uneventful, except for the fact that I picked up a camera and shot for the first time in years. My camera skills are weak, my tech savvy is poor, and I get very self-conscious about these things. But it was needed, so I picked up the camera and shot some material. Nothing exciting – just a few interviews we needed to get. I capped the evening off by losing $20 in a game of Texas Hold ‘Em.

I’m glad I had the time with the camera yesterday, because today, I was pressed into further duty: I was going to shoot some aerials and other material in a small prop plane. The fisherman on some of the boats use planes as spotters to get the big schools of fish. So that’s going to be a big part of our show. Luckily, we’re staying at a place where all of the pilots are staying, and we’ve all befriended each other.

So one of the pilots, Terry, offered to take me up in the sky to shoot some stuff. It was awesome. The plane is a four-seater, but really shouldn’t fit more than two. I was shooting the amazing landscape (and taking it all in as I shot), looking for large schools of fish in the water, following a few boats, and watching Terry show one of the boats he works with where to capture a massive school of fish. He also made an air drop off – he opened his window and threw a package out to the boat below him. Pretty cold when he opened it. The whole ride was amazing – an experience I never thought I’d have. The only problem was that when he was directing his boat to catch the school of fish, he kept flying in very tight, left turns. I got pretty dizzy, and hours later, I’m still feeling a bit loopy.

"I guarantee that I'm better than 40% of the shooters on youtube!!"

Also, I’ve made a new friend. I’ve dubbed him Bandit, or Bandito.

I think he can read my mind!

Now that I'm married, this is the only physical contact that is allowed!

On a separate note - the airport is across the street. Sometimes, the pilots just drive their plane over to drop off their stuff and park in the driveway. It never gets old seeing a plane in the driveway.

You can go by land, sea, or air...

The Alskan Adventure Begins!!!

2009-05-14T20:48:00.000-07:00

For those who don’t know, a few days after getting married, I booked a gig about herring fishing that would take me to Alaska for two weeks. I don’t usually go on the road for shows, but I was looking forward to this one.

I left on Thursday at 6am – flying from LA to Seattle, Seattle to Anchorage, Anchorage to Dillingham, Alaska, and Dillingham to Togiak, our final destination. A 12-hour journey.

Togiak is so remote, that you can only get there by boat or by plane…and not a big plane, a six seater. Yeah, really tiny. This was our plane to head over.

No one was singing "Peggy Sue" while on-board.

Despite my initial fear of flying in the tiny plane, I held up. It was a great ride - all mountains and snow. No roads, no houses, nothing.

I did white knuckle it twice – once when the wind was blowing us around a bit, and once when our pilot sneezed and jerked the wheel.

No puke bag needed.

Destination: Togiak

After landing in Togiak, we were taken to our accommodations – a bed and breakfast run by a nice couple. Since so many people are around for the fishing season, the place is packed, so myself and another producer are staying in a “guest house.”

Home sweet home...

The view from our living room

The accommodations have been great, and the food has been amazing. We couldn't be at a better place. I played in a poker game with the owners and some of the other guests and friends of the owners. It's been very comfortable here. And there's fresh goodies (Cookies, rice crispie treats) everyday...I can't wait to get back to LA to re-start my diet.

The weather has been spectacular – 60 degrees and crystal clear. Every time I step outside, all I see is water and mountains. Breathtaking. Pictures do it no justice.

The beach outside the house.

Boats prepping for the herring season.

ICEBERG, DEAD AHEAD!!!

Yesterday, we went out on a skiff to check out one of our main boats, Time Bandit, and meet up with some of our camera crew. It was a fun trip – I’ve seen the boat on Deadliest Catch, but I got a great perspective of how big it really is. The boat seemed nicer than some of my apartments. It’s impressive.

My head is bigger than Time Bandit.

Okay, maybe Time Bandit is bigger than my head.

To get out there, I was given a pair of suspenders and an awful neon green jacket to keep warm on the water. The colors may not be flattering, but I wasn’t taking any risks.

Neon: It's not just for bar signs any more.

The day in Alaska last until 11pm, so last night, I went for a run at 10:50pm and was able to get back as the sun was setting behind the mountains at around 11:20. It’s kind of amazing – my body was trying to wind down from the day, but I felt exhausted and ready to go to bed.

This is my running route. Hard to get lost.

Sunset at 11

Today has been a bit slower - we're waiting for fish and game to start the fishing season. The big excitement today here was a fire down at the airport. Nothing like a little a fire to bring out EVERYONE. I mean, every person in town sped to the airport like they were going to put out the fire. There's only one road in town, so I guess it was the equivalent of a freeway. Trucks, ATV's, kids on bikes, all rushing to catch some of the action. Of course, they beat the fire department by a good 10 minutes.

I'll keep posting as things happen, and get pictures on when I can. We have no cell phones, so the internet is key to everything. It is amazing - Heather and I did a video chat, and I took her outside for a tour. If you'd like a tour, feel free to send me an IM. I'll take you outside for a walk.

Hi, my name is Brian, and welcome to Universal Studios, Togiak...

And before I go for today, let me introduce you to the adorable Brandy - the dog of the house.

We're having a good time in Alaska. Now let's hope the fish bring some good drama and TV!!

That's Some Cool Sheep!!

2009-03-20T16:16:00.001-07:00

This is pretty darn awesome.

The Birds and the Bees To Be Replaced By The Turtle and the Shoe

2009-03-10T15:38:00.000-07:00

You're welcome...

It Blinded Me With Science...

2009-01-24T22:52:00.000-08:00

I'm a science moron. When someone starts talking science, I generally tune everything out and begin daydreaming of a monkey riding a unicycle while wearing a fez hat. In high school, I struggled to pass both biology and chemistry. It's ironic that my sister is a Doctor Scientist who does something science-y (I wish I could tell you, but every time she tries to explain it to me, that darn monkey rides up on his unicycle.)

So imagine my amusement when I got hired for a show with major science elements. Since my science background is so weak, I had a lot of catching up to do. Over the last month, I learned a few things:

Vague science-like facts that I pull out of my ass do not qualify as actual science, even if they sound logical. I guess you need "facts" to back it up. Personally, I prefer truthiness.
I am rusty in geometry, so it took me a while to figure out the hypotenuse of a right triangle. I did, however, figure out the radius of a circle with ease.
Despite my results, I was reminded that geometry is not science. No one on the show is interested in my geometric results.
It takes 400 milliseconds to blink your eye.
Writers on the show want to make sure that what is on TV is awesome. Scientists who work on the show want to make sure that what is on TV is accurate. Put the two together and wackiness ensues.
When a Physician and Scientist disagree on numbers, stand back, hide, and hope not to get hit by shrapnel.
When you get hit in the nuts, you feel pain in the stomach because when you're developing in the womb, the testicles begin life in the stomach and gradually drop. So the brain still thinks the testicles are there, and when pain signals get sent down to the crotch, they also go into the stomach...or something like that.
If an executive farts a lot during a meeting, don't laugh, because all it does is encourage him to continue to fart more.

That last one doesn't really have to do with science, but its an important lesson for everyone to learn.

Home Improvements: Before and Afters

2008-12-06T10:19:00.000-08:00

Look what I found packed up in a box, wrapped in newspaper - its my blog. (Oh moving humor, you never get old) Heather and I officially moved into our house nearly two weeks ago. Woo-Hoo!!! It feels strange to have a house, but it is nice to walk around at night without worrying about pissing off our neighbor downstairs.

But before we moved in, there were a few projects we wanted to complete. There's an endless list of projects to come, but these three were the ones we wanted to focus on before we got into the house.

PROJECT #1: Re-Grout the Patio

There's a patio outside our kitchen. Beneath it is our "Artist's Retreat/Rock Band Room." During the inspection process, we learned that when it rains, water would leak through the patio and cause water damage to the "AR/RBR" ceiling. We had the sellers fix this room before we moved in, so to make sure there was no further water damage, Heather and I decided to re-grout and seal the patio.

Of course, we never had done this before, and learned how to do it based on watching youtube videos. We found out, very quickly, that it's not as easy as it looks on those videos. Because we had no idea what we were doing, we probably did double the work we should've. I won't go into details, but we finished it over the course of 11 days. There were many aches and pains, but after our first major rain, we found that our grout work held up. (Okay, there were a few water leaks in the corners downstairs, but the vulnerable spots, where water used to leak, have been fixed).

Here's a picture of the grout work as we were in the midst of cleaning it tile-by-tile.

PROJECT #2: Remove Popcorn Ceilings.

There were three rooms with popcorn ceiling: the living room, master bedroom, and a section of the kitchen. We both hated having them in our apartment, so it was a no-brainer to get rid of them in the house.

Once again, because I watched a few youtube videos, I was convinced I could do this on my own. But after learning my lesson from the grout (and a quick "No" from Heather), I decided it was best to farm this one out to a pro. (If anyone is looking to get rid of their popcorn ceilings, we'll give you our guy's info.)

Over the course of three days, he and his team took down the popcorn, fixed some bad work that had been buried for years, and painted them for us.

Here's the bedroom before...
...and after!
The living room before...
...and after!
The kitchen before...
...and after!
It was such a relief to see the ceilings without that popcorn shit on them. It changed the entire look/feel of the rooms to us. Luckily, he finished it in time so we could complete the next project...

PROJECT #3: Painting

There were three rooms that were in dire need of a paint job: the living room, master bedroom, and 2nd bedroom. Heather and I were very much in tune with what we wanted and picked out the colors very quickly. My biggest concern before we started was that we'd run out of time before we were supposed to move in.

In order to get it done on time, we began painting the 2nd bedroom at night while grouting. The 2nd bedroom was a kid's room and was BRIGHT yellow, a bit too intense for our taste.

Here's what it looked like before...
...and we took it to an olive green.
While the ceilings were being finished, we had to put the living room and bedroom on hold. By the time they were done fixing the ceilings, we had one and a half days to get the work done. Luckily, we had a lot of volunteers step up and help out and were able to get it done. Huge thanks to the Blake, Annie, and Shantel for painting with us, and thanks to everyone who offered to help!

The master bedroom was a dark blue before - a bit darker than we'd like. Here's the blue before...
...which looked really dark in person. So we decided to keep things bright and painted a much lighter blue...
The biggest room, of course, was the living room. Before it was slightly off-white...
...and we painted it a more creamy, cake-batter color...mmmmmmm, cakkkkeee!
Heather hated the color intially because it looked more yellow than she expected. But as it dried, the color got a little bit darker, and she fell in love with it. How can you not love the cake batter?

We also decided to do a brown accent wall over the fireplace. Here's before...
In order to figure out the color, we tested a couple of different shades of brown next to our new cake batter-y color....mmmmm, icing! You can see the two test colors on the right side of the accent wall. Both colors looked more like shit than a nice warm color.
Luckily, in the basement, we found a brown paint that matches our front foyer.
Neither of us are completely sold on it and we may change it. But for the moment, we are warming up to it. It's such an easy wall to re-paint, that we could do it within an hour.

There was one other project left on the agenda...

PROJECT #4: The Beast

Since we're in the spirit of before/afters, here's some of Winnie (aka, The Beast). Heather decided to take the cat to the vet before we moved to get tagged and groomed. But a simple trim wasn't going to do - Heather decided to go big time and get a lion cut for the cat. Here's what she looked like before...
...and of course, here's her ridiculous look after.That's just fucking funny. It's starting to grow back, but she still looks goofy.

Okay, that's enough for now. I have to stop with this and get back to doing some unpacking.

The End of (The Apartment) World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

2008-11-01T21:33:00.000-07:00

I just went to hand in a 30-day notice to our landlord. I guess this means we're officially leaving our comfy, little, rent-controlled pad. Very sad. This place has been home for nearly six years. I love the neighborhood and I'm going to miss being able to walk around and hit up some of our favorite restaurants and bars. It's the first place where Heather and I lived together. It's where we got engaged. It's not going to be easy to leave.

But apartment life, that's another story entirely. I won't miss our community laundry room that reeked of moisture and mold. I won't miss the neighbor downstairs who complained when there was a little bit of noise when we made "Behind the Fake Music." I won't miss the lone parking spot in the garage. I won't miss the lack of space in the place. I won't miss hearing neighbors yelling and screaming at each other in Russian (or whatever that lovely language they're using to scream in).

And tonight, there yet another reason why I won't miss living in the apartment. This flier was posted up on the front doors of our building, as well as placed on everyone's door.

Let's just hope our new neighbors aren't huge fans of "Hairspray."

The Next Great Rapper

2008-10-30T11:26:00.000-07:00

I sent this email to Found Magazine today - true story:

One of my co-workers found a wadded up piece of paper in the parking lot outside of our office. Luckily, we opened it up instead of throwing it away.

What looks like a long letter is actually a really bad gangsta rap. I mean, every rap cliche is in it: guns, killing, weed, '64 Impala, bad grammar.

I'm assuming this aspiring rapper decided this was a B-side instead of a hit, and decided to ditch it.

Click on it to read - it is genius:

It's Don Draper's World...

2008-10-28T18:09:00.000-07:00

...and even the Simpsons are just living in it:

Only In Japan: Monkey On Wheels

2008-10-19T09:32:00.000-07:00

This is my new favorite video from Japan:

I wish I had thought of that first.

Halloween Fright

2008-10-17T18:27:00.000-07:00

It's Halloween time, and that means one thing: seeing people get scared. But this video goes to a whole new level:

Each time I watch it, it gets better and better.

I Now Pronounce You Husband and Husband

2008-10-10T22:24:00.001-07:00

An co-worker married his longtime partner today at city hall. He and his husband had talked about it for a while and decided to do it today, before the vote comes down on California's Proposition 8 - an anti-same-sex marriage prop on California's ballot this year.

I'm invited to their cocktail party/reception tomorrow, so tonight, I went to Target to get a card and gift. (I was hoping to find a card with two guys high-fiving and a big, "Congratulations on your wedding!" on it, but that didn't exist.) After searching through every crappy wedding card around, I realized that its hard to find a wedding card appropriate for two guys. Most cards are for "Mr. and Mrs.," or feature a bride and a groom on the cover, or have frilly hearts and colors on them.

That's when it struck me: someone can make tons of money one same-sex wedding cards. And if they do, I'm suing so I get my rightful piece of the pie. Prop 8, you better fail, just so I can make tons of cash on my new scheme.

Nothing To See Here

2008-10-09T15:54:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are, mid-October...well, early-mid October, and I'm cleaning the dust and cobwebs off my blog. It's about time.

So, what's happening with me, you're wondering?

Not much.

Okay, maybe that's a lie.

Heather and I are trying to buy this:

I can't say what it is in fears of jinxing it, but we're in escrow. I totally know that by posting this, I'm going to fuck things up. Damn it, blog, why did you let me do this.

Thanks to this whole thing, I've now become a penny pincher and I'm absolutely obsessed with money management and Quicken. If I haven't budgeted something, we are not buying it or spending money on it. I've gone back to living the way I did back when I moved out to LA and had very little to my name. Except now, I have something big to my name and have to spend all my money on it.

I will say no more - just in case something goes wrong...or I freak out and run away.

Why I Love Acting: A Top Ten List

2008-09-12T10:53:00.001-07:00

I haven't seen a top ten list this funny in a while, that's why I figured I'd share it with y'all:

2008-08-24T21:59:00.001-07:00

I was going through some photos I downloaded from my camera the other day, and forgot that I had taken these.

I was out for a walk in the neighborhood, and happened upon a PT Cruiser with melted tires, which looked pretty gnarly. Of course, I took a closer look and I happened to spot something dangling in the windshield...
...and it was this note. The PS was what made me head home to grab my camera.Let this be a lesson to everyone out there: if you have a PT Cruiser, beware, it may catch on fire.

Whole Lotta Shakin' Going On

2008-07-29T19:50:00.001-07:00

My first earthquake, a tiny tremor in 1997, scared the crap out of me. The walls started shaking and waving, and I ran for safety. I sat in a doorway for hours, gripping a flashlight, petrified, convinced that the BIG ONE was coming at any moment.

During today's earthquake, I handled things much better than I did years ago. As I told someone earlier, when an earthquake hits, you don't realize it until its nearly over. Today, as things were shaking, I was a bit confused until my boss turned to me and said, "I think this is an earthquake." She was correct.

Everyone came out of their offices and edit bays to watch the ceiling rattle and the lights sway back and forth. Some people seemed scared, but some just seemed amused by it. I just wanted to know how big it was. When someone yelled out, "5.8!" I was secretly excited to have not been shaken by a quake that big. But when I saw it got downgraded to a 5.4, I ignored it for a few hours, just to feel a bit more brave.

Someone posted this clip of Letterman from years ago. I'm not as lame as these guys:

Imaginary Friend

2008-07-27T21:56:00.001-07:00

Heather and I were talking tonight, and I revealed to her that I had an imaginary friend when I was little. His name was "Johnice," a combo of my parents' names, John and Janice. Heather stopped, and seemed somewhat frightened when she learned this. "Did you see him? What did he look like?" she prodded for details. I wasn't actually sure, mainly because I was so young. I just kind of remember the idea of the imaginary friend existing and telling my parents about him.

Heather's line of questioning continued, like a grilling: "Where did he come from? Did your parents think you were strange for having this 'friend?' You must've been a lonely child." It was like I had revealed a horrifying secret to her, thinking, "I'm getting married to a guy who had an imaginary friend growing up! How will I ever live this down?!?!"

So my question - anyone else out there have an imaginary friend, or am I the only crazy one out there?

(I would post a picture of my imaginary friend, but he hasn't been around much lately...)

Various Thoughts On A Saturday Evening

2008-07-26T17:48:00.000-07:00

I've been busy lately, but figured it'd be a good time to update the blog, so here goes:

1. I've been working on this show for a while, and one of my main jobs is to bring out the drama of things that happen at the beach. Part of my job is to write VO lines for the show, like, "The man is pulled out by the clutches of a vicious rip current," and, "The powerful surf and rocky chop batter the swimmer, exhausted," and so on, and so on.

So of course, when Heather and I went to the beach a few weeks ago, all I could do is look at swimmers, and "write" VO in my head as I watched them simply go swimming. Any time a lifeguard went towards the water, I sat up, excited at the prospect of "narrating" a rescue. But sadly, it was a slow day, and no one was in need of a rescue.

2. The Yankees upswing has been nice, but unlike many fans I know, I never panicked. I always thought they'd pull it together and start getting hot again. Not bad.

3. Based on everyone's recommendation, I tivo'd the "Mad Men" marathon last week. I'm hooked, and I plan on using the adjective "swell" a whole lot more, as in, "I went to see 'The Dark Knight' and it sure was swell!"

4. My new favorite blog of the moment is called Get Rich Slowly. Since we've been house hunting, I've become obsessed with saving money, and this is a great site with some interesting tips. Thanks to Blake for that one.

5. My favorite album of the summer (and maybe the year, so far) is the Hold Steady's "Stay Positive." I would post the song, "Sequestered in Memphis," but the site I usually use to post tunes isn't letting me do it. Basically, the song is about a guy who hooked up with some girl in Memphis, but she got him into some trouble with the authorities. Now, he's being interviewed about it. It's a bit vague, but it has this gem of a lyric:

"In bar-light, she looked all right;
In daylight, she looked desperate
That’s all right, I was desperate, too"

I'm Not Here To Make Friends...

2008-07-07T16:33:00.000-07:00

...I'm here to spread the love of cliches in reality shows.

How Love Blooms

2008-07-01T20:24:00.000-07:00

People often ask me, "Brian, how did you and Heather get together?" And I often say, "Its a long story, but I do have an audio recording of how I pursued Heather and won her heart, so you can give it a listen." Now, just substitute my name for "Dimitri" and Heather's name for "Olga," and you have the story of how we got together. Seriously, listen to the whole thing.

http://view.break.com/527579 - Watch more free videos
I have no idea if its real, but it is fantastic.

My Monthly Update

2008-06-23T15:26:00.001-07:00

Wow, it has been a while since I turned on this "blogger" machine. I haven't blogged for a while, mainly because there wasn't anything too exciting or fun to write about. So, let's go for a quick update...

-I ruined my MacBook by spilling a glass of milk on it. (It was late at work, I was starving, there were stale donuts and milk, and I needed some sort of food.) Since it would cost a ton to fix, I bought a new MacBook and got an Ipod touch for a highly discounted price. As both Heather and Patry said, "That's one expensive glass of milk."

-I've learned to enjoy house hunting, if just to see how other people live. It makes me feel better about when I'm messy and I can say, "Well at least I'm not as messy as those people from that open house yesterday."

-It was f'ing hot, but we didn't lose any power this weekend, so the AC was on full force. In honor of the heat, I made a special summer dessert for Heather and I: A Lemonade Pie in a Pretzel Crust. It sounds kind of crazy, but its really creamy and tangy, but the pretzel crust has just the right amount of salt to counter it. It's really darn tasty. If anyone has a BBQ this summer and requires a dessert, I will make it.

-Heather won a photo portrait for us at a charity auction last year, so this weekend we had to go get our picture taken. I was worried that it'd be lame and cheesy, and I'm sure it was, but the pictures we saw were much better than I envisioned. I still think they'll look a bit cheesy, but at least I didn't look as awful as I feared.

-We finally watched King of Kong, which was as great as everyone says, and Michael Clayton, which was good, but not as great as I hoped it would be.

-Work is slowing down for a little while, which is great, but when the slowdown happens, I always feel guilty for having nothing to do. I mean, I have things to do, but the work is a slow trickle instead of a massive swell. So that's why I decided to hop back on this pony known as the blog.

Okay, enough for now. More another day.

Weezer Goes Viral

2008-05-24T18:18:00.000-07:00

Weezer released their new video yesterday, and its got a ton of internet viral-video references. Sadly, they didn't invite "Assplosion" to be a part of it. I guess our 3,000-plus views make them a bit more cult than viral.

Of course, they always have the greatest videos, like this one:

And of course, this was the best:

It's hard to find good, new music videos these days. Glad to see Weezer's still pumping them out.

The "Original" Office

2008-05-19T00:16:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've done this, so I'm getting back into blogging shape.

If you saw SNL this weekend, you saw Ricky Gervais present the first version of the Office. If you didn't see it, here it is:

BREAKING NEWS: THE PREMIERE OF "BEHIND THE FAKE MUSIC"

2008-04-15T23:46:00.000-07:00

For the last couple of months, I've been working on this short, and it is finally done, and I couldn't be prouder. Now, it's time to share it with the world. I'm going to post two versions - the high quality version, and the youtube version. Feel free to watch both and then go rate them and make comments. Share it with your friends and family. The more hits the better. Oh, and beware, there is some salty language and situations that may be slightly NSFW (aka, Not Safe For Work).

HIGH QUALITY VERSION ON VIMEO:

Behind the Fake Music from Brian McCarthy on Vimeo.

YOUTUBE VERSION:

And to find out more about the great Assplosion, head to their blog to read up on their exploits.

I Heart Gymnastics

2008-04-01T13:31:00.000-07:00

If all gymnastics were like this, I'd Tivo it all the time:

A Crazy Saturday, Part 2: The Kids Choice Awards...Seriously

2008-03-30T23:13:00.002-07:00

After I helped destroy Blake's kitchen, I rushed home to clean up and get dressed up to attend the 2008 Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards. Yes, that's right, the Kids Choice Awards. Normally, I'm not invited to such "high class" events, but Heather's brother, Mark, has done some host work for Nickelodeon, and this year, he and his co-host, Ryan, were doing live coverage of the pre-show, Orange Carpet event for Nick as well as their website. He hooked Heather and I up with tickets, so we, of course, were going to watch and try to fit in with the pre-pubescent crowd.

When we arrived, we immediately began searching for Mark near the Orange Carpet. Luckily we had badges for "Nick Talent," so basically, we could go wherever we wanted to. As we searched for Mark, someone pointed us to the front of the Orange Carpet where the "Talent Sign In" was. At that desk, a woman told us that we were welcome to walk the Orange Carpet in hopes of meeting up with Mark. There was no questioning whether we were famous/talented/belonged and there was no security to stop us: we were "Nick Talent" according to our passes and that meant we could walk wherever we wanted.

So Heather and I began this bizarre walk down the Orange Carpet. At first, it resembled the 10 at rush hour: logjammed. But as we rounded a corner, it was obvious why there was a human traffic jam: we were now about to walk down paparazzi lane.

The first person I saw was Christian Siriano from this season's Project Runway. He was on the other side of the fence, doing interviews for Access Hollywood. As I was watching him, I realized that he was interviewing Jodie Foster. It was a "fierce-hot-tranny-mess" moment if I ever saw one. Moments later, I turned around, and Shia LeBouf was standing right behind Heather and I. He was clearly uncomfortable with the insane amount yelling and screaming press, and I understand why. Heather was thrilled to see him - not because she's a fan, but because she now knows that she's taller than Shia. As we continued down the carpet, we wandered past Abigail Breslin, Chris Brown, Akon, and other people who appeared to be celebrities that I didn't recognize.

As we got towards the end of the press row, there was a "Slime Pit" for the main Nick pre-show, as well as bleachers for the kids to watch the celebs come down the carpet. We happened to walk into this area just as the Jonas Brothers did. (I was slightly familiar with the Jonas Brothers - I don't know their music, but I do know that they're massively popular with kids.) As they walked onto the stage, and Heather and I walked past the bleachers, the kids roared and screamed as if the Beatles had just walked up. It was piercing. And scary. I got a close look at these young boys, and despite the fact that they're prepped by stylists and coaches, it's very clear that they're still in that awkward stage of teenage life. I can't imagine being in that phase of my life and having that kind of attention thrown upon me.

Anyway, just a few steps away, Mark and his co-host, Ryan were doing their live pre-show. Luckily, we were able to stand to the side and watch as they did interviews with a bunch of celebs (we saw them talk with Nelly, Abigail Breslin, the Jonas Bros, Ashley Simpson, some Nickelodeon stars that I didn't know). I couldn't hear a word, but they looked like they were having a blast and everyone around them seemed to have a blast.

Mark and Ryan doing their thing

Talking with Nelly

As they were interviewing some celebs, even bigger ones were walking by, within a foot of Heather and I: Usher, Will Smith, Cameron Diaz, Pete Wentz and the lead singer of Fall Out Boy, Brendan Fraser, Rhiana, etc. It was very surreal to see all of them so close.

Cameron Diaz looked uber hot in person
Before you call me a perv, Heather's the one who took the picture of Cameron's legs.

Heather and Mark at the carpet

So we finally went inside and watched the awards show, which was amusing, but clearly aimed at those under the age of 13. The set, as you can see, was impressive. Our seats were decent.

Steve Carrell and Amy Poehler

One of the biggest things of the night was the presence of Miley Ray Cyrus, aka Hannah Montana. The first time they announced her name, it was bedlam. They were screaming like crazy and it sounded like a plane was landing. I had to cover my ears. It really was amazing. Here's a brief, earsplitting video. Make sure you turn it up as loud as possible.

After the show, we went to the after party. They put up a massive tent and thousands of kids were running around. For them, it was paradise. For us, it was a bit too much: they had music blasting, a dance floor, hairdressers set-up to paint kids hair and style it, basketball hoops, and other crazy loud stuff. The food was clearly not for adults: Burger King, pizza, mac and cheese, and make your own Sundae tables all over.
Thanks to Mark, we were able to sneak into the VIP tents. Jack Black was hanging out, signing autographs. Ice Cube (?!?) was sitting at a table, chatting up some people. I talked with Tom Kenny (aka, the voice of SpongeBob and a former Mr. Show star) for a few minutes. Kids were more interested in getting Mark's autograph than seeing Ice Cube. It was a very surreal scene.

It was a pretty great experience. As we kept going through this, Heather and I kept looking at each other, and asking, "Is this real?" I guess it is. I can't imagine doing this every week or every month, but doing it once in a while would be alright by me.

A Crazy Saturday, Part 1: SEEK AND DESTROY!

2008-03-30T22:51:00.000-07:00

I got an email from Blake the other day: he's re-doing his kitchen and needed some help doing demo work. I am not known as a guy who likes doing manual labor, but throw in a sledgehammer and a crowbar, and I can be convinced to join in on the fun.

Of course, I said yes, and I had a BLAST destroying Blake's old kitchen. Actually, it seemed like we all enjoyed breaking things a little too much. If you've had a frustrating week of work, I highly suggest spending a few hours doing demo work: it really helps you release that tension.

Blake's doing a blog about his kitchen over here. But, really, you should check out this link to see a few more pictures and a great time-lapse of the destruction that Patry did.
I became obsessed with taking out the tiling and the counter. Well, actually, it was just pretty satisfying to bash the tiles and break them into powder. A Crazy Saturday, Part 2, coming tomorrow...

Happy Easter

2008-03-23T07:37:00.001-07:00

For Video Game Nerds...

2008-03-22T20:18:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Tivo, I usually don't sit through commercials, but I've been watching a lot of NCAA basketball this week and saw this awesome commercial. If you played the game Spy Hunter back in the 80's, you'll appreciate it:

Karate Monkey

2008-03-17T21:29:00.001-07:00

I fucking love the internet.

Genius!

2008-03-14T18:13:00.000-07:00

I watched this video, and my life changed. Maybe for better. Maybe not.

Wow. Fucking wow.

My short!!

2008-03-11T12:11:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone, I'm proud to finally present the short I've been working on:

(Okay, it's not really my short...and as much as I want to believe this is real, I think it's a comedy bit. But it still makes me laugh.)

Dubbing Fun

2008-03-01T21:00:00.001-08:00

I'm watching Wedding Crashers on TBS because nothing else is on. Vince Vaughn just got slapped and yelled out, "CHEESE AND RICE!" I guess you can't say Jesus Christ on TBS. He also said, "I don't give a BAKER'S FLAKE!" I have no idea what that means.

What Do You Want From Me?

2008-02-19T10:07:00.000-08:00

There's a great moment in "Goodfellas" when Joe Pesci's character sees this picture and quips, "I like this one. You got one dog looking this way, the other dog goes the other way, and this guy's saying, 'What do you want from me?'"

Today, as I drove to work, I saw life imitate art as a similar scenario was taking place on someone's front lawn.

A guy was standing there with two dogs, greyhounds, I think. It was absolutely perfect: one was looking one way, the other was looking the other way, and the owner was looking at traffic, saying, "What do you want from me?"

I think he was asking that because both dogs were simultaneously taking a shit.

It Only Took Me 10 Years To Get Motivated...

2008-02-11T16:50:00.000-08:00

Everyone in Hollywood is "working on their own projects." What that means, exactly, is unclear. It actually depends on whom you talk to: they may be writing a feature-length script, parts of a novel, recording music, filming material for a documentary, or even just scribbling down thoughts as they come to mind. Basically, if a person's brain is functioning (and in this town, it's questionable as to how many have functioning brains), they are "working on their own project."

I, for years, have been working on my own projects, some with more success than others. For the last few weeks, I've been working on my own project with the intention of actually producing it. And the good news is, thanks to the help of some incredibly talented friends, I produced a short film over the weekend.

I had been writing a bunch of shorter, sketch-like bits during my unemployment, with the hopes of maybe shooting one of them at some point in my life. Finally, just before the holidays, I decided to push forward with one little script for a short mocumentary that I found somewhat amusing. It is not the most original idea, but for a little short film, I thought it would be fun to make it, and if it came out well, I thought my friends and I may get a chuckle out of it.

Next up was trying to get people on board. Of course, I wrote it with Heather in mind, and she reluctantly agreed. I called Dave and Blake, and both seemed excited at the prospect at doing something on our own. So I cast a few good, and talented, friends (Adam Conger, Jon Lafferty, Mike Onofri, Jay Skowronek, and Yancey Dunham) in the rest of the parts.

A few weeks ago, Blake, Dave, and I began actually planning out the shoot and all the details. Since I was "financing" the short, everything needed to be cheap. Blake volunteered to get cameras from friends of his - and these cameras were f'ing awesome. Dave was able to borrow major lighting equipment and expendables from his office. We decided our locations would be my apartment (shhh, don't tell my landlord), Blake's house, and Heather's theater. If it weren't for these things coming together, then it would've never happened. But it all came together, and we were able to move on with the shoot.

We began shooting Saturday afternoon and wrapped last night - a very short and quick shoot, and the amazing thing is that we crammed a lot of material into those two days. It does make a huge difference that Blake and Dave have been through a ton of productions, and the three of us seemed to be on the same page about what we needed to pull this thing off.

Dave planned out the schedule for us and created call sheets for our crew. When I got the official call sheet, I was so pumped - it looked like something you'd get for an actual production. How awesome is that? For me, pretty f'ing awesome! I may actually frame one. I was able to lean on Dave for scheduling, logistics, planning meals, etc. Plus, Dave took on the role of grip, set photographer, time-lapse guy, coffee bitch, etc. Dave did everything and anything...he just made life a hell of a lot easier.

Blake shot the entire thing, and it looked pretty damn great. The toughest stretch of shooting was probably Saturday night. It was the kind of shoot where we could plan a few shots here and there, but for the most part, we were just going to shoot on the fly. As we were running around, every time I looked over Blake's shoulder into the screen, I got so excited about how insanely good it looked. As the weekend progressed, every set up we did looked better than the previous, and I couldn't have been more thrilled. He also shot a lot of photos that will end up in the short, including this one of Heather in character...
I hadn't worked with actors since college, so it was going to be a bit different than dealing with reality show contestants. These guys (and gal) are all pros and I didn't want to be the real amateur on set. But they were so easygoing and loose, that it made me feel calm and relaxed. They were on their toes and ready to do anything I threw at them. A number of times, Blake and I had to hold in the laughter as they were messing around on camera. They were all game to do anything we asked them to do, and as a group, everyone gelled. It was the ideal group of actors to work with - they were so much fun and brought so much to the table, it made the shoot amazingly fun and breezy. They were exactly on note from moment one. I can't single any of them out - they were all great: Mike was fearless and shirtless; Adam brought the emotion; Jon had the scary/funny intensity; Jay broke his on-camera acting cherry while playing the outsider perfectly; and Heather said some hysterically disgusting things in front of Blake and I that will scar us for life.

The one production aspect that Dave, Blake and I had no experience with was designing lighting for the stage at the theater. Yancey usually does the lighting designs for the shows at the theater and was cool enough to light the stage and run the boards for us. It added such a cool element to the shoot that would've taken the rest of us a long time to work with. On top of that, he gave a really damn funny performance.

I really can't thank everyone enough for their hard work this weekend. Everyone went above and beyond to get this made, and I appreciate it so much. I hope everyone else had a good time doing it. After doing this shoot, I felt energized and excited. Obviously, when it's done, I'll throw it online and post it up here for the world to see.

It felt as fun making this as it did making films back in college. I hope I do it again before another 10 years goes by.

Perfect!

2008-02-07T13:26:00.001-08:00

As a Giants fan, I'm thrilled to share this with you, the commercial that would've aired if the Patriots won:

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Heather's Play; Story In Today's LA Times

2008-01-24T17:46:00.000-08:00

This weekend, Heather's latest play, "Bump," is opening at Theatre West. It's a collection of different original pieces written by Theatre West members. Heather's in one of the pieces, and, even better she wrote one a piece, and it's closing the night.

The LA Times featured a picture and small blurb about it in today's calendar section (hit to enlarge):

It's cool because Heather's acting, writing, and the photo above was taken by her (just look at the photo credit on the very bottom of the article).

The show is running Jan 25-Feb 3, 2008. To make reservations, call 323-851-7977.

And don't forget, Heather's piece is the closer, which is good why? Because coffee is for closers....

Decision 2008: The First Ever Live From Rodney Drive Poll

2008-01-23T22:06:00.001-08:00

It is election season, so I figured I'd get into the spirit and host a poll on my blog, but it's not about politics. Before you answer the poll, let me tell you a little story, and yes, this is a true story (names have been changed to protect the semi-innocent):

This family, we'll call them "The Smith Family," have a number of cats. One of the cats, we'll call him "Fatty," was about 21 years old. Fatty wasn't necessarily a nice cat until his very old age. The few times I came in contact with Fatty, he was not necessarily sweet towards me.

Fatty, being an old cat, got sick with some sort of cancer. As his health was rapidly declining, Mr. and Mrs. Smith did everything in their power to make sure Fatty was comfortable. But after a while, his illness got too bad, and they had to eventually put Fatty down.

Sad, yes, but here's where the story takes a turn...

So Mr. and Mrs. Smith brought Fatty back home to have their own funeral. But, distraught over the cat's death, Mr. Smith was reluctant to bury the cat. He had become more attached to the cat than ever before.

Instead of burying the lifeless cat that day, Mr. Smith decided that Fatty would spend one more night with the family. Come bedtime, Mr. and Mrs. Smith got into bed. They gently placed the dead cat into his familiar place on the bed. And then, they slept. With the dead cat. In the bed. All night. And no one in that household seemed to think it was too strange.

When I talked with one the Smith children, they said, "I didn't think it was weird until I was telling it to my girlfriend." Of course, when I heard this story, I immediately thought, "This is fucked up."

So, I wanted to take a poll: How fucked up is that Mr. and Mrs. Smith slept with the dead cat?

And for your viewing pleasure...

Chia Bart

2008-01-21T11:47:00.001-08:00

For Christmas, Heather and I got a Chia Bart from a friend. We thought about re-gifting it to some poor sucker (aka, Heather's dad). But I had never chia-d before, and since I had nothing else to do with my life, I decided to grow Chia Bart and document it. Here's just a tease...
I've created a flickr site with pictures documenting his entire growth. Click on this link to see how Bart has grown in just about two weeks...and to see how crazy unemployment has truly made me.

Don't be lazy, click here to look at Chia Bart's growth. You have nothing better to do. That report doesn't have to be finished until tomorrow. Delay it. Go read about my sad life with Chia Bart.

Now! Do it!

A New Tourism Slogan For New Jersey

2008-01-18T17:26:00.001-08:00

For those who don't know, I'm from New Jersey, and I'm damn proud of it. My fine home state gets mocked mercilessly for not being New York. Too many people give it a bad rap just because it happens to be across the river from the biggest city in the world. It pains me when I hear people who are from New Jersey claim they're from New York or "the New York area." Giants and Jets fans are constantly asked, in mocking fashion, "Why is your team from New York if they play in New Jersey?" Fine, I get it, New York has a lot going on and is an amazing city, but...

...I was watching a commercial for "Cloverfield," which looks kind of kick ass (and I hope it does). As I'm watching Manhattan get destroyed by some unseen and less-than-friendly monster, I realized that the characters in the movie would want to be anywhere BUT New York. And that's where New Jersey holds the edge over New York: angry monsters and hostile aliens in movies will attack Manhattan, but not Jersey.

If you're sitting in suburban New Jersey, and you see some big-ass monster attacking the city on the news, you know you've got some time to pack up and get away...or really, you could just sit there knowing that the evil beast will most likely find a home in Madison Square Garden (see 1998's awful "Godzilla") and continue to demolish the Big Apple.

This is where New Jersey's bureau of tourism needs to step it up and use this to their advantage. I propose a new state slogan...

NEW JERSEY:

When The Monsters Attack, You'll Wish You Lived Here Too!

See what unemployment does to a sane person? It makes them a whole lot less sane.

I Found A Stairway To Heaven, And It Does Not Lead To a Pretty Place

2008-01-09T10:59:00.001-08:00

So back a few weeks ago, I was walking through a K-Mart in Florida (quite an experience), and as I wandered through the "Men's" section, I spotted a pair of Led Zeppelin boxers. They were so hideous looking, I had to take a picture:
But what made them even more amusing is that when you turned them around, this is what they put on the ass:
Apparently, the stairway leads right into your colon.

"You Can Do It While You're Driving"

2008-01-08T10:46:00.000-08:00

If there's one thing in this world that I'm obsessed with, it is rims. Some people like it when they're shiny. Some people like it when they spin. Some people like it when they're big. I like them like this:

Thanks to Grant for sending me this golden nugget.

Happy New Year...And Set Your Tivo....

2008-01-01T08:07:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope 2008 has gotten off to a great start. Mine did: Heather and I won a game of Trivial Pursuit. I think that's a sign of a good year ahead.

And if anyone is interested, tonight is the premiere of "Ocean Force: Huntington Beach," a show I worked on this year. It was formerly known as "Beach Patrol," but the network merged "Beach Patrol" with another show they already had called "Ocean Force." It follows the lifeguards, cops, and paramedics of Huntington Beach, and there's some pretty incredibly rescues and life saving.

The show is on tonight at 8pm on TruTV (formerly Court TV...yet another name change). After tonight's premiere, the show will air on Monday night's.

And if you want a small taste of the show, here are two "Ocean Force: Huntington Beach" webisodes I produced. (In the second webisode, listen closely for a familiar voice):

More videos from the "Ocean Force- Huntington Beach, OC" channel at Heavy.com

Scenes From A Bowl Game

2007-12-31T14:14:00.001-08:00

The other day, our family went to the Meineke Car Care Bowl at the Bank of America Stadium in Charlotte. Normally, I don't have an interest in college football, but since Wake Forest was playing, and both my sister and brother-in-law went there, it was a no-brainer to go.

The game was great: Wake Forest were down 10-0 at halftime, but came back to win 24-10. We had great seats in the end zone, and were lucky that Wake scored a couple of times right in front of us. The only downfall were the assholes sitting a few rows in front of us who wouldn't sit down, and nearly started a fight with the people sitting right behind them.
It was a fun game to see. The bowl game atmosphere was electric - even though the stadium was only 2/3 sold, it sounded much louder than that.

While I root for Wake Forest, I'm not a die-hard fan like John, my brother-in-law. He lives and dies with every up and down that Wake Forest sports has, particularly basketball and football. Going to this bowl game would either mean that John would have a good day or a bad day. I carefully watched John as the game went on and documented his emotions. With every score, John's emotions and body language changed drastically. Here, is a photo essay I took of John reacting to the game:

1. Alarmed (Wake Losing, 7-0)

2. Surrender (Wake Losing, 10-0)3. Hope (Wake Losing, But Coming Back, 10-7)

4. Confidence (Wake Takes The Lead, 14-10)

5. Elation (Wake Extends Lead, 17-10)

When Wake was losing at halftime, John was silent, confused, and absolutely stunned. It was almost as if he couldn't speak any more. But as soon as they started to come back and were winning, John was talking again, and predicting a 20-10 victory.

I'm happy for John that they won. I'm happy for Erin that they won, and John was happy. I'm just happy it was a good game. Heather was just happy to have some nachos.

Mmmm...nachos.

The (Man-made) River Wild

2007-12-31T09:16:00.000-08:00

I am not what you would call "an outdoorsman." I am not afraid of sunlight or fresh air, but I'd prefer to sit at home and nap than go for a hike. Even the mere idea of camping makes me retreat to my couch. (I mean, how can I live without tivo, xbox, and my bathroom?) But something came over me last week, and it came as quite a surprise to Heather when I suggested that we should do something outdoors-y.

Last year, when I was at my dad's house (in South Carolina) for Christmas, I had read about the opening of the US National Whitewater Center just outside of Charlotte. It's a training facility for US Olympic kayakers (and hopefulls), but it's open to the public and has plenty beyond kayaking for novices to do. According to wikipedia, "The Center's primary feature is the world's largest and most complex recirculating artificial whitewater river." When it opened last year, it was a big to-do in Charlotte, and it sounded impressive.

So this year, when I got down to my dad's, for some reason, I was reminded of the Whitewater Center, and thought, "That might be kind of fun." Wait, what? An outdoor activity, fun? That's not me thinking, is it? Apparently, it was. I felt bold, different, unafraid of tackling river rapids in a man-made facility. Instead of thinking beyond that, I decided to book a whitewater rafting trip at the Whitewater Center for Heather and I.

The weather was anything but promising. The temperature was barely in the low 50's that day, so the water was going to be freezing, and at any moment, it was about to begin raining. Because it's winter, we were hooked up with wetsuits, some sort of water shoes, and waterproof jackets to seal around our arms and necks.

After a safety orientation, we were thrown into life jackets and helmets and boarded the rafts. At this point, it started raining. We were placed in the raft with four other people, plus a guide. After learning some basic commands from the guide, we were off.

For the first two runs, we went down a long, bumpy "river," which is supposed to be the easier path to take. In the picture below, it is the loop that goes around the bottom of the picture, around the trees.
As we were going around the loop the first time, we were thrown around at one specific spot, and Heather thought I was about to be tossed from the boat, so she grabbed me. At the same time, I thought she was going to be tossed from the boat, so I grabbed her. Heather held on to both me and her paddle, but I let go of both Heather and my paddle. Luckily, we stayed in the raft, but when I saw my paddle floating down the river, I felt like an idiot. The guide assured me it happens all the time, and I felt better when I saw another boat lose two of their paddles.

When you finish your run, you're quite a bit below where you started, so you paddle over to a long conveyor belt and ride up it, much as you would a log flume, and get dropped off at the starting point to begin your next run. At that point, we stopped to get another paddle and went for our second run.

(I'm in the blue helmet. Heather is across from me, her helmet looks like its covering her eyes)

After two runs on the longer loop, they decided to take us on the much harder rapids, which they said has class 3 and 4 rapids. I had watched a few kayakers on this section earlier, and it was much more harrowing than what we had just been on.
It was clear from the very first moment on these new rapids that we were going to get thrown around a lot more. I was convinced that I'd go flying, but somehow, I stayed in. Any time we were going over the bigger rapids, our guide would yell, "Weeee!"

(Heather is in the front row and I'm right behind her)

It was incredible when you hit some of these bigger rapids and the water just came pouring into our boat. You couldn't see a thing in front of you, and had to just hope that you weren't going to tip over. It really was like going down a roller coaster, but without a seatbelt. And sometimes, you were going down backwards. Or sideways.

After two passes on the tougher rapids, we went back to the easier loop we started on and our guide had us "surf" the rapids: we paddled in from the side of the eddy and straight into the rapid, and our boat sort of "surfed" into the rapid.

After "surfing" on a few rapids, we took one final pass on the tougher rapids.
Our two hours of rafting felt like they took ten minutes. It was an awesome experience, an absolute blast. I was shocked that the cold water and weather didn't bug me - the wetsuits were perfect. The only bummer was that we weren't going again right away.
The Whitewater Center is really impressive. Besides the whitewater rafting and kayaking, they also have climbing walls, ropes courses up in the trees, and a bike path to ride around. It seems like it's in the middle of nowhere, but I guess if you're building a massive man-made river, you kind of have to build it in the middle of nowhere. We were going to a zip line down 100 feet, but because of the rain and bad conditions, it got canceled. Next time we're visiting my dad, both Heather and I agreed that we're going to do another rafting trip. I can't wait!

Maybe I am an outdoorsman after all.

Merry Christmas To All...

2007-12-24T22:14:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas friends and family!

To share in the good cheer, I wanted to share a legendary Christmas story from my family, back from the late-60's. My dad was drafted and went to Vietnam, and made one Christmas pretty memorable for everyone.

This is from my Aunt Ellen:

"Your dad had spent the last year in Viet Nam.  He came home
in July, and his only requests were to have Budweiser and Christmas. 
The tree was up, wrapped presents under the tree, and the Bud was on ice. 
All was well, and we were all totally ecstatic to have him home safe.  

But he still had to serve, and for the rest of his tour of duty,
he had to go to California.  Safe place, but so far away from New
Jersey. Christmas was coming up, and my Mom, and all of us,
were missing Jerry terribly.  He was not going to be able to
get home for Christmas and Mom, especially, was sad about that.

A day or two before Christmas, Jerry called Janice,
his girlfriend (ED NOTE:  my mom), and told her he was able to come 
home for a few days.  Janice called me and we kept it
secret from everyone else.  

After a late evening celebration of Christmas on Christmas Eve,
everyone went to bed, except me.  (I did tell my Dad so he wouldn't
think I disappeared in the night.)  Janice picked me up to go to
the airport, way the heck to some airport in New York.  His flight was
coming in about three am.  We sat giggling in the airport, anticipating
how surprised everyone would be.  When he arrived, we were tired but
psyched.  We arrived back in Bogota, NJ, at about six in the
morning.  

We tiptoed in, and then Jerry yelled at the top of his lungs,
"Hey, where is everybody??"

With that, I heard my Mom's voice say, "Is that Jerry??????"  and I
heard Edward yell, "Yippee!!!"  and the entire family tumbled down
from the upstairs rooms and jumped all over Jerry.  

My favorite Christmas, ever.

I can still hear mom's voice saying "Is that Jerry???"  What a day!"

It's one of my favorite family Christmas stories. Sadly, I don't have any video of his Christmas surprise, but I do have some old film of his initial July return to the States from his tour of duty in Vietnam. (Cast note: My mom is the one in the white dress and black bow, my dad is in uniform, aunts and uncles are all around, and there's no audio) Enjoy:

Merry Christmas! I hope someone out there has as great a story as that one after today.

Not In Kansas (Or Los Angeles) Anymore

2007-12-22T12:28:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in a bright pink library, sitting next to a woman in a Dixie flag jacket whose phone keeps ringing "Sweet Child O' Mine" and is getting flustered by the "computers and electronics and stuff." There are a pair of horses in the back, painting pictures. On the drive over, we saw a couple of guys hanging outside of their garage, staring at the engine on their Camaro (and I believe one person was wearing Zubas).

That's right, I'm in Florida.

Heather and I are here, visitng her grandparents for the holidays. Her mom and brother Mark are here, and the rest of her family is coming down in the next few days.

I'll be without email for the next few days (HOW WILL I SURVIVE???), but can always come here to the local public library to sign up to use these public computers. The kid next to me is playing some dragon slaying game. That looks like a lot more fun than blogging.

Oh, and I'm now obsessed with getting a crossword puzzle book. I finished on in the back of the US Airways magazine on our flight yesterday, and I'm dying to do more. Weird, right?

Okay, that was a whole lot of randomness. Really, what I wanted to say was, if you're trying to email me over the next few days, I might not get to it for a while. I may be too busy with my corsswords.

My New Favorite Sports Jersey

2007-12-19T15:44:00.001-08:00

This was on deadspin today - if you go to this site you can type in your name and figure out your name if you played on Brazil's soccer team. Mine would be:

I guess it's pronounced "Mac-Cah." Not a bad ring to it. What's your name?

(And the 23 is in honor of new LA resident, Don Mattingly.)

Power Out

2007-12-19T10:26:00.000-08:00

Blackouts happen in our neighborhood whenever it A) gets too hot outside and everyone's running tons of air conditioning (which happened in September during our heat wave) or B) whenever it rains steadily and fairly heavily. Of course, for a day-and-a-half, it rained steadily, and I guess the electricity in my neighborhood decided to take a break.

Last night, I hopped in the shower around 8. I was about to lather up when suddenly everything went black. Luckily, after our last blackout, Heather and I prepared for another by setting up candles and flashlights around the apartment. Of course, I had to find them while dripping wet.

Luckily, I left our Menorah out, so I lit the Hanukkah candles. Surprisingly, it was almost brighter than all our other candles combined. Next Hanukkah, I will add a personal prayer when lighting the candles to say "Thanks for keeping my apartment lit during times of blackout."

Heather and I were ready for a night without power. Heather worked in front of the fireplace, I watched a DVD with the remaining power on my laptop, and the cat did whatever it is she does.

The power nearly came back at one point, but it quickly shut itself off again. We could hear the crews working throughout the night. I woke up early this morning, our lights finally on. Based on my blinking alarm clock, I assume that we got power at about 4:45 in the morning.

This was much more tolerable than when we lost power during the Labor Day Weekend heatwave when tried to sleep without AC in 105 degree heat, sweating, hoping and praying, that either the heat would end immediately or that our power would miraculously turn on and stay on for more than 4 hours at a time.

What's This Dusty Thing In The Corner? (Updated With New Picture Goodness)

2007-12-18T12:00:00.000-08:00

That's right, it's my blog. I totally forgot about it - it was buried under that pile of laundry in the corner.

Okay, so I've been ignoring this thing for the last month. I really don't have any good reason other than I was suffering from a severe case of "laziness."

So to get back into the blogging spirit, here's a few little things that amused me recently:

Heather's theater company had their Christmas party last night, and she asked me to pick up some chicken from Ralph's. I went to the counter to get some, and saw the price tag, "8 pieces for $5.99." The woman working the counter came over to help and I asked for "12 pieces of chicken." She stared at me, dumbfounded, and mumbled, "That's more than 8." I stared back at her, myself now dumbfounded as well, and noted, "Yes it is." Eventually, after we stared at each other awkwardly for a while, she got me 12 pieces of chicken. It apparently was a major challenge, but she overcame it.
The night got even better later on, when I walked into the theater party and saw an elderly man I totally recognized, but couldn't quite place the face with a name. I knew he was a character actor of some sort, but couldn't quite figure out what he was from. After a few moments, I realized, it's UNCLE LEO...from SEINFELD! It took a lot for me not to yell out, "UNCLE LEO!" in front of the entire party. I will forever remember this as the "Christmas of Uncle Leo." UPDATE: Here's the picture he took with Heather:

The rain in LA has me feeling like its a snow day. We had our fake fireplace on today, Christmas tree lit up, and I'm sitting in comfy clothes, relaxing, trying to recover from a cold. It certainly is "winter" in LA.
Oh yeah, and here's our Christmas set-up this year...

That's all for now. I promise to blog again sooner than another month.

Double Talk

2007-11-13T10:14:00.000-08:00

Writers on strike want a piece of the internet pie that they're due. Network Executives from Big Media have been claiming they make no money on the internet. Guess which side isn't being honest:

Nine Cover Songs From My Itunes

2007-10-24T17:23:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been re-write day at work, days I enjoy. Basically, I take the script for a show, and just work on the voice-over, trying to come up with another way to make "unpredictable rip currents" more dangerous and exciting than we have the previous episodes.

When I sit down to hack at it, I'll throw on my headphones and just zone out, read the thesaurus, try writing out ideas, then re-write it so it's good enough for the show. With my iTunes on shuffle, I tend to ignore the rest of the world. Half the time, I'm not even aware of what's playing.

The other day, though, the music caught my attention: it was catchy, familiar, but not quite right. That's when I realized it was a cover of Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone" performed by Ted Leo. It's actually a great version of the song, and it goes into a cover of the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs "Maps" in the midst of it. Seriously...

Since U Been Gone/Maps - Ted Leo

It got me thinking about what other great, not-so-obvious covers I have on my iTunes, and I figured I'd share some, because hey, who doesn't like music, right?

Keeping with the "contemporary hit covered by indie-artist" angle, here's a cover of Christina Aguilera "Beautiful" by Clem Snide, one of my favorite bands. I saw them do this live at the Troubadour a few years ago, and it absolutely blew me away. I was pretty pumped when they released this as a single...

Beautiful - Clem Snide

Here's a weird one: David Byrne covering Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody." I heard that back in 2005, Byrne, with help from the USC Marching Band, played a cover of Beyonce's "Crazy in Love." That may actually be weirder than this:

I Wanna Dance With Somebody - David Byrne

This one came up on Stereogum a few weeks ago: the Foo Fighers doing a cover of Arcade Fire's "Keep the Car Running." Dave Grohl says that he listens to it every morning when he wakes up. I understand why. It's kind of a great song to get you up and moving in the AM:

Keep the Car Running - Foo Fighters

The Faces are one of the more underrated rock bands of all time. When I mention that Rod Stewart was the singer, most people frown, but all they know is that he sucks now. Just listen to him rip through the chorus of the cover of McCartney's "Maybe I'm Amazed," and you'll know how good he can be. And by the way, I think I like this version better than Paul's original, and that's saying a lot for a Beatles freak like me:

Maybe I'm Amazed - The Faces

The White Stripes have done a ton of great covers, but I think my favorite of theirs is "Jolene," the classic by Dolly Parton:

Jolene - The White Stripes

Here's one that may be my favorite cover of all time: Radiohead covering Carly Simon's "Nobody Does It Better." Weird, right? But it's so fucking good. Thom Yorke called it "The sexiest song ever written." Who knew Radiohead were such Carly Simon fans?

Radiohead - Nobody Does It Better

My most treasured cover isn't really a true "cover." It's the Beatles working on "All Things Must Pass," but remember they never released it. The Beatles were working on the song during the "Let It Be" sessions. Of course, they broke up, George Harrison took his own song, and scored the first big solo hit of any of the Beatles.

Well, there's a version of "All Things Must Pass" on the Beatles Anthology albums, but it was just a George demo. This version is a version after the Beatles had worked on it a little bit. I read about this version years ago in Rolling Stone, when they mentioned it in an article. After much searching, I found it.

It's interesting to hear the Beatles performing the song as a whole, a bit bare and rough, along with harmonies, well before it was ever fleshed out. Kind of cool to hear what could have been if they kept working on the song.

All Things Must Pass - The Beatles

Anyone have their own favorite, weird covers in their iTunes?

New Word of the Day

2007-10-23T16:03:00.000-07:00

My new word of the day is "Blinger!"
It's much more fun to tell people to look at Heather's "Blinger!" than her ring finger.

I bet the usage of the word "Blinger!" becomes a huge phenomenon, and when it does, remember to credit me with the creation of it.

Eight Years In The Making

2007-10-21T12:52:00.001-07:00

Years ago, when Heather and I first talked about marriage, she noted, "Whenever you propose, you won't surprise me. I'll know it's coming." That put a lot of pressure on me. I made a promise that I would figure out a way, I just couldn't figure it out for the longest time.

A few months ago, we began ring shopping. Finally, about a month ago, we picked out a ring and a diamond downtown at Rondels, a fantastic store in the Jewelery District downtown. We were both thrilled. I made the wise decision of kicking Heather out of the store as I discussed a time table with them. She was clueless as to when it would be ready.

For the next few weeks, Heather kept prodding, "Do you know how you're going to propose? When's the ring ready? It has to be ready by now? Maybe you can just show it to me before you propose because I'm so excited." I kept her at bay, telling her, "No, I don't know how I'm going to propose, and besides, I have plenty of time. The ring won't be ready until Thanksgiving." Hell, she even went snooping into a couple of my drawers hoping to find it.

Well aware of her excitement, I left the ring at the jewelery store until I was ready to propose. I had a plan in my head for months, but only truly settled on it a few weeks ago. When I ran it by a couple of people and I saw their reaction, I knew I had it right. I aimed to do it on Thursday, October 18th for a number of reasons:

Heather knew the ring was coming. If I were doing a "BIG" proposal, she'd get suspicious at the first sign of something out of the ordinary.
It's a Thursday. Most people get engaged on a weekend or a vacation. Not a Thursday.
Heather has an acting class every Thursday night. She usually goes right from work to class, then gets home around 10pm. It's a busy day for her and it would give me plenty of time to get ready.
Heather was going back home to NY on Saturday, and I know she couldn't wait for her friends to see the ring at Christmas time.

So, on Thursday morning, I went downtown to pick up the ring. I left work early in the afternoon to pick up all the last second bits and pieces I needed, as well as clean the apartment. I wasn't nervous about pulling it off, but was FREAKED OUT that Heather would skip her class and get home about 3 hours earlier than planned. Luckily, she went to class.

I cleared out our living room and on the floor, I made a "runway" of tea light candles on the ground. In between, I dropped a whole bunch of rose pedals. It lead to our dining room table, where I put a bouquet of flowers, our candle chandelier, a bottle of champagne, a few framed photos, and a photo book I made on iPhoto.

Here's how the apartment looked:
The table:
The view from behind the table to the front door:
I had everything ready by 8:30. I expected Heather home at 10 or 10:30. So, I paced and kept re-lighting and changing out tea lights. I wanted it to be absolutely perfect. At 9:30, an hour earlier than expected, I heard the jangling of Heather's keys as she unlocked the door. I rushed to the table and sat down, waiting for her to enter.

She opened the door. Her arms were full: she was carrying a backpack, a massive purse, a re-usable lunch bag, a water bottle, and a bag and soda from McDonald's. The door swung open and she stood there for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only about 15-20 seconds. Clearly stunned, she looked at me and asked, "What's going on here?" I smiled, "Hi, come on in."

She walked into the room, almost punch drunk, and right away, she stepped on one of the tea lights. I yelled at her to stop and had to direct her towards me, much as someone working at the airport would direct a plane towards the gate. I grabbed the bags from her arms and put them aside.

"What do I do now?" she asked. I told her to take a seat and to look at the photo book I made for her. The book started with a brief introduction about our first eight years together. I took some my favorite photos of the two of us and put them throughout the book. Here's Heather reading the intro to the book:
At the very end of the book, I wrote a short paragraph:

"I hope you've enjoyed all these pictures from our first eight years together. From the first date at Mexicali, it's been a whirlwind. We've had a wonderful time together as "boyfriend and girlfriend," but, I think we're ready for the next step. So, I have a question for you..."

At that point, I got down on my knee in front of her, and I asked her, through my tears, to marry me. And as expected, she said, "Yes!"

It was such a great night, probably the best of my life. Heather admitted moments later, "You completely surprised me," which made me happy for so many reasons. We were both punch drunk for the entire night. I don't think Heather ever really got over the shock that hit her when she first walked into that door.

Heather and I are still giddy a couple of days later. We're still calling each other "fiance" and giggling like kids who've just gotten away with something. It's pretty awesome.

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who helped along the way in making the proposal happen: to Erin and Evan for the recommendation to Rondels, to Patry for listening to me vent as I waited impatiently for the photo book to arrive, as well as stopping by and picking up a lighter at the very last second to light the tea lights, and to my sister, who listened to my plans and kept me calm as I pulled all of it together.

Now, the wedding planning begins...

The Yankees Are Alive!!!

2007-10-08T13:05:00.000-07:00

I found a fitting video in honor of tonight's Yankees/Indians game: a promo from the late-70's from WPIX 11 for a Yankees/Indians game. There's some sweet music and awesome graphics.

Let's go Yankees!!!

The Danger of Jager

2007-10-07T10:07:00.000-07:00

Last night, we went to a game night with a number of friends from Heather's theater company. We held a game night about 4-5 months ago with the same group, and it was a great time. As that night ended, we all pledged to get together soon and have just as fun a time. But it was tough to get this group together again due to crazy schedules, bad timing, etc. Finally, we were able to get together last night for our long-awaited game night.

When we arrived at our friends' apartment, there was a couple who hadn't been at the previous game night. For the sake of this story, they will be renamed Jack and Jill. Heather knows Jack and Jill through the theater, but I had never met them before. They seemed nice enough, but were much more interested in doing Jagermeister shots than anything else. I had about 3 shots with them and was feeling it pretty quickly. I stopped and began nursing a beer so I could function and play games. I mean, we are at a game night. That is the purpose of being there.

But Jack and Jill wanted to continue doing Jager shots. At every opportunity, Jack would ask, "Jager?" And it seemed like Jill was more than willing to join him. A few other people had a shot or two, but for the most part, it was Jack and Jill doing the drinking. The new bottle of Jager they opened just two hours earlier was soon down to just a few drops.

We finally sat down to play the first game, a new game that Heather and I had only played once. As I tried to explain the directions to the rest of the party, Jill was yelling and carrying on about who-knows-what. No one could really hear the instructions, so we tried playing and explaining the game as we went along. But Jill made it impossible as she began wailing like a fog horn being run over by a big rig. She kept up with her guttural howling "UHHHHHH!" as long as she possibly could.

Since the new game was being ruined by her siren-like yelling, we decided to play a more simple game: celebrity, a charades-like game where you have to guess which famous person you're pretending to be. Jill went off to have a cigarette, and we were able to get the game off to a great start. Game night was back on track.

Jill came back into the room and plopped herself into the new, expensive massage chair. She was much more subdued than before and clearly had no intention of playing the game. Jack sat next to her silently, clearly wasted. The game went on, and we were having a blast. Someone looked over at Jill, who had more or less passed out in the chair: she looked half-dead. They asked Jack, "Is she okay." Despite the fact that her eyes had nearly rolled back into her head, he replied, "She's fine."

Our team was poised for a comeback and about to make a big move, when suddenly I heard someone groan the dreaded words, "Uh-oh!" I turned to see Jill sitting upright with a long, thick strand of drool dangling from her mouth. She had just puked on the new, expensive massage chair.

But she didn't make a move to the bathroom. She just sat there, stunned. Then, she opened her mouth and began puking. A lot. Onto the new, expensive massage chair, the white carpet, and her dress. I grabbed an empty chip bowl, passed it to someone so she didn't have to continuously vomit everywhere, and ran to the kitchen, out of harms way. Luckily, I was joined by two others who had weak stomachs and wanted to avoid the stink of vomit.

Jill never made it to the bathroom. She just held strong in the living room and kept puking. In the kitchen, we were all trying to figure out how to get them home. We were ready to call for a cab and chip in, but one of the guys at the party, Matt, who is a good friend of theirs and was sober, offered to drive them back home. As I cowered in the kitchen, Matt went up to Jack and said, "I think we should get going." Jack, despite the fact that his girlfriend was puking all over herself and the furniture, replied, "Nah, I think we're fine." Matt then kindly rephrased himself, "I think everyone would be much more comfortable if we took her home." Jack finally got the clue and they decided to leave. A few minutes after they left, Matt called to say they were home and safe, but that he now had to clean out the backseat of his car, as Jill christened that with vomit as well.

Game night was over. But we all hung out for another hour, trying to figure out what had just happened. Of course, as we talked about her puking, it lead to everyone telling legendary gross stories. Jill's night of Jager and puking on the new, expensive massage chair will be added to my repertoire of nasty, disgusting stories, and told to groups of friends, on a night like last night.

We're planning for another game night soon, but this time, Jack and Jill won't be invited.

Meat-Pocalypse IV: The Quest For Ribs

2007-10-04T17:13:00.000-07:00

At work, the big excitement lately has been the grill that Dave got for our show. Dave and I have pretty much used it on a daily basis to grill all sorts of things for lunch, and to be honest, it's much more satisfying (and tasty) than eating out.

Once a week, for the last few weeks, we've grilled for our entire crew of about 15-18. We've dubbed these special, weekly occasions: The Meat-Pocalypse! (I've mentioned this once before, briefly, in a previous post.) For each, we have a main course of meat along with various side dishes. The first three Meat-Pocalpse menus were:

Chicken, Carne Asada, and Hot Links
Beer Soaked Brats
Fennel Crusted Pork Chops (Recipe from Top Chef 3, and I can't take credit for creating the marinade, just for grilling)

Well, the big plan for this week's 'Pocalpse was to do BBQ ribs, something I've made tons of times in a stove, slow-cook style, but never done on a grill before. For some variety, we added chicken to the menu as well. Between the ribs and the chicken, I bought nearly 20 pounds of meat!!

Before I actually purchased the ribs, a couple of people at work were skeptical. They gave me an out a number of times, but I refused. I was determined to make the ribs, come hell or high water.

Not only was there a little bit of doubt as to whether I could pull it off, but I was also working alone today. Usually, when we cook for the crew, Dave and I split the duties on the grill, but of course, today, he happened to get called in for jury duty.

I marinated the ribs and the chicken overnight. They smelled great. Outside, I had a two grill set-up. The large grill, affectionately known as "The Silver Bitch" would be for ribs only. The small grill, "Little Bitch," was for chicken. I loved the idea of working two grills at once.
I began cooking the ribs at 11:45am...
...and I began the first of two batches of chicken at around 12:30...
A little while later, about 20 pieces of chicken were done, perfectly juicy and delicious...
And shortly after that, the ribs were completely done, still tender and delicious.
Meat-Pocalypse IV turned out to be a major success...

Our crew brought in some side dishes, including home-made garlic mashed potatoes, spicy green beans, and macaroni salad.

Everyone seemed to enjoy the food a ton. By the time we were done with it, we were left with 3 small ribs, 3 pieces of chicken, and a few scoops of mashed potatoes. Very quickly, people from other shows came over and helped themselves to the last of it.

I called my dad to tell him how well it went (he gave me advice on how to grill them), and he asked me, "How long did it take?" And I told him, "1 1/2 hours." He asked, "So when do you work?" Good question. I'm still trying to figure out the answer.

As we finished up, I got an IM from Dave, still at jury duty, asking, "How did the ribs go?" With some prodding from the crew, we IM'd back that "It was awful, good thing I made a lot of chicken. Catastrophe." And another co-worker, Paul, photoshopped this photo, which we sent to Dave:
Sorry, Dave, we couldn't help it. We were kidding. It was great. We'll make ribs another day so you, too, can enjoy them.

I can't wait for next week's big day, a slight variety on the 'Pocalypse, where instead of one main course, we'll bring in a lot of different kinds of meat to try. It'll be our very first Meat-A-Palooza.

And in two weeks, we've planned for tri-tip. Man, I love work.

Presto...

2007-10-02T23:39:00.000-07:00

...it's Magic! Springsteen is back!!!
I hope everyone back in Jersey took the day off, picked up the album, took a road trip to the shore, and started some bar fights...all while listening to the new album.

It's pretty damn good.

Whirlwind Weekend

2007-10-02T00:25:00.000-07:00

It was quite a quick weekend in North Carolina, but it was spectacular. If you've never been to Chapel Hill before, it is a beautiful place. Lush greens, old-time southern homes, weather in the 70's, sweet tea, and people with silly accents. I've been lucky to have gone a few times before, but this weekend, it was spectacular.

The best part, of course, was watching my sister defend her dissertation in front of her peers. It's fascinating work to see. She was obviously enthusiastic, even mentioning, at one point, "And this is why I'm jazzed about science." Yup, that's right, she's "jazzed" about science. I guess in order to become a PHD, you have to be "jazzed" about what your studying, I guess. (I won't let her live that one down)

One small complaint about her defense: at the end of her presentation, she went through to acknowledge all those (with an accompanying slide show) who helped her/supported her throughout her years of work. It was incredibly emotional. Amazingly, she kept her emotions in check pretty well, but at times, would break down and her voice would suddenly crack, and she'd begin talking in a high, squeaky voice.

As it came time to thank me, she noted, "I want to thank my brother, Brian, who is everything a big brother should be." At this point, she was still composed. Completely unemotional, until she added, "And, I also want to thank him for bringing Heather into our family." The mere mention of Heather sent her over the edge. How could this be? How dare she not break down as she said my name!!! She claims, "I was holding it back and just let it out as I was thanking Heather." That's an excuse, if you ask me. (And no, Erin, I'm not letting you live this one down, either)

After she did her defense, we had to wait for about an hour and a half as a committee of people from her department continued to question her. Finally, she came out as Dr. Erin McCarthy Campbell. To say that we were proud of her would be an understatement. We celebrated that night into the wee hours, and I learned about all sorts of cell experiments that her colleagues are working on. I think I understand what they're studying...okay, maybe not. I ain't such a smart one. (On a side note, as we were partying, the head of Erin's lab, Bob, came up to me, got on his knees, and prayed to me like a God because he liked a show I worked on a couple of years ago. It was quite flattering and, of course, Heather happened to be in the bathroom and missed it).

Throughout the weekend, we went to some fantastic restaurants famous to the area (Mama Dip's, Crook's Corner) and had some amazing food (grits and shrimp are a new favorite), visited an amazing store for cooking junkies (A Southern Season), and drank our share of heavily sugared iced tea.

Hell, I even had a celebrity sighting. As we walked around the town on Thursday night, I spotted Ben Folds walking down the sidewalk. (He is from North Carolina). I am a huge fan and was tempted to stop him, but he was with his wife (I assume) and didn't feel like bugging them. Everyone was pissed that I didn't point him out. To that, I say, "Pay more attention!"

It was a great weekend to have as a family...even if my sister didn't cry when she mentioned my name. Congrats, Erin!

Mad Dash To Leave Town

2007-09-26T22:02:00.000-07:00

Before I leave on trips, I like to make lists of things I need to do. It makes me feel better for some reason. Well, for the blog, I'll make a list of good & bad from the week...

THE GOOD

Leaving town tomorrow for NC to see my sister get her PHD
The Yankees clinched a playoff spot
Halo 3 is awesome and makes me smile
Meatpocalypse 3: grilling pork with Patry for our entire staff, and yes, it was delicious
The Giants beating the Redskins
The new Foo Fighters album is good
You can download Wes Anderson's short film "Hotel Chevalier" free on itunes
I got tickets to see Van Halen in LA, and I will rock out hard!
All my laundry is done

THE BAD

Car breaking down; being without car from Sunday until tonight
Dealership trying to overcharge me
Bringing car to other mechanic to get better deal
Our flight is at 8am tomorrow...at LAX.
No Halo 3 for a weekend
I am extremely gassy from beans from the Meatpocalypse today (Poor Heather)
I still have to pack
Did I mention the 8am flight...

Reports from North Carolina to come...if I have internet at the hotel.

Random Thoughts On a Sunday Afternoon

2007-09-23T15:48:00.000-07:00

There's been a lot going on lately, so here's some random things, Larry King-style:

I've gone to Chinatown more in the last six months than I had in the first 8 1/2 years that I've lived in LA. It's actually kind of great. Heather can get cheap clothes that are funky, and I'm amused by all the rip-off toys and bootlegged DVD's. And Heather found a fantastic restaurant, Yang Chow, which reminds me a lot of east coast Chinese food.
The Yankees are making me happy. A Giants win over the Redskins today would make me really happy.
Last week, we went to the Magic Castle for the first time. If you live in LA and haven't been yet and get an invite, I highly recommend it. We got our invite from Rob, a fellow member of Heather's theater company who was performing with his group, The Unholy Three. We started at the WC Fields Bar to watch The Unholy Three, who put on a great show. You can wander around the castle, an impressive place, and catch little side shows at some of the bars that are scattered throughout. There's also three main stages, where you have to wait for shows, and each is a different size: Close Up Gallery, Parlour of Prestidigitation (medium sized), and the Palace of Mystery (larger). We got to see shows in both the Close-up Gallery and the Parlour, as well as watching some of the magicians putting on some shows around at the bars. There were some amazing tricks and great shows. Highly entertaining. Plus, I did get to meet the drummer of the Pixies, Dave Lovering, who is one of The Unholy Three.
We did a 70's themed double DVD feature last night: "Zodiac" and "Inside Deep Throat." "Zodiac" is a great film - highly, highly recommend it. I haven't seen Heather get that freaked out by a movie in a long time. Now, I want to begin my own personal investigation of the Zodiac. "Inside Deep Throat" was fascinating. Not my favorite doc of all time, but very entertaining. It was kind of perfect to watch after "Zodiac" had us wound up.
For the last week and a half at work, I've been grilling lunch every day. See, Patry got a new grill for our office and we wanted to try doing a few "meat days" where we'd grill our lunch instead of going out and eating really crappy. It was such a success that I haven't left the office for lunch in over a week (and that was because I had errands to run). Plus, we've had two "Meat-Pocalypse" days, where we grilled for our entire staff. Week one was chicken and carne asada. Week two were beer soaked brats. For week three, I've stepped up and I'm going to try to grill some ribs.

Okay, now, I have to get back to watching football. It's crunch time for the Giants.

Now This Is A Union

2007-09-19T16:22:00.000-07:00

Gorillas In the Midst (Of A Phil Collins Video)

2007-09-11T15:50:00.000-07:00

This was on defamer yesterday. I watch and just giggle. I shall say no more:

To see the original, click here.

When The 'Fro Grows

2007-09-09T16:10:00.000-07:00

For years, I've been all about getting regular haircuts. Back in the day, I'd go every 3 weeks and get it cut really damn short. As of last year, I was still getting it cut every two months or so. And after those two months, it felt long.

Well, this year, I decided to experiment: what would my hair do if I grew it long? Besides my junior school mullet, I had never tried growing out my hair.

I got a haircut the first week of January this year. It grew and grew and grew. And it grew curlier and curlier and curlier. At times, it looks like I've gotten a perm. Other times, it just looks shaggy. I can pull it down below my lip. I can make it stretch into the air like Kramer. It's pretty amusing. I have been called everything from "hippie" to "Fabio." I resent both.

Initially, I wanted to try to go for a full year without getting a haircut. But today, I decided to get a trim. Until today, I've never gotten a haircut where the hairdresser asked, "Do you want me to cut an inch or half an inch?"

After cutting a half-inch, it doesn't look like I cut much. Heather noticed it right away when she saw it. She thinks there's "layers" to it. There are no layers. The guy just cut a half-inch.

I'm wondering how long I can go until my next haircut.

Slow Night, So Long

2007-09-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

This has been the summer of concerts. It seems like everyone good is coming through town these days and I've had a tough time saying no to a show. This weekend, though, was the first time all summer that I've gone to shows on consecutive nights. And both were so radically different, it was almost amusing.

On Friday, I went to Kings of Leon at the Greek. I first saw KOL at Coachella this year and was blown away by them: their mid-day set seemed to match the 105 degree temperatures. So when I heard they were coming to the Greek, I signed up right away.

They didn't disappoint. All 6,000 at the Greek were on their feet for their entire set and had tons of energy. It didn't seem like an LA-crowd, prompting the band mention this between songs. But I think a lot of that had to do with the Kings' performance: they just fucking rocked. I mean, straight up, loud, fast rock and roll. It was the perfect way to end the week.

There's still a few performances from the show stuck in my head: "Taper Jean Girl," "Trani," but most of all, "Slow Night, So Long."

And "Slow Night, So Long," is what I said after seeing Hall & Oates last night at the Hollywood Bowl.

Now, let me clarify something: I did not purchase tickets to see "Hall & Oates" months in advance. After the Kings of Leon show, Blake mentioned that he got some $9 tickets to Hall & Oates at the Bowl, thinking it would be an amusing show. He had an extra ticket, so I figured for $9, it wouldn't be too bad.

Whereas Kings of Leon were 1 1/2 hours of pure energy and rock, Hall & Oates were 1 1/2 hours of easy listening and slight boredom. Sure, I enjoyed hearing "Meaneater," "Sara Smile," and "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)," but in order to get to those hits, we had to sit through a bunch of new, crappier material. I don't mean to be harsh, but I go to a show like that to hear all the greatest hits. I don't want to hear your new cover of "What's Going On?" As we walked out of the show, a lot of the crowd seemed to be complaining that they didn't play "Private Eyes" and a few other huge hits.

The band sounded fine and Darryl Hall's voice still sounds great (although Oates is looking a little pulled back and creepy), but the show was pure cheese. The stage banter was amusing ("This next one's a song about getting off the road. It's about simple things in a complex world") and Hall seemed to be more into fussing with his hair than singing. Oh yeah, and at one point, there was a flute solo. A fucking flute solo at a "rock" concert.

Trust me, I had fun and knew from moment one that it would be a silly, cheese-fest of 80's music. But one night after seeing something really kick-ass, really made the night suffer in comparison. If the crowd at the Hall & Oates show had been at the Greek Theater a night earlier, they would've been booing Hall & Oates off the stage and chanting for Kings Of Leon to come out and rock their asses off.

PS: Oh yeah, one other thing: there was a large catfight/near-brawl after the Kings of Leon show. Four girls yelling and pulling hair and their boyfriends shoving each other and putting each other in headlocks, nearly coming to blows. That was awesome. There was nothing that cool at the Hall & Oates show.

America's Got Talent

2007-09-08T11:12:00.000-07:00

I saw this on laist today and had to share. This is the first time I've ever heard the words, "A vocal, ventriloquist, clog act," said in the same sentence. And make sure to watch when they stop down for technical difficulties:

That's a whole lot of creepy.

Pa-Pa-Pants Man is NOT CLEAR!

2007-08-28T21:45:00.000-07:00

I don't know how to set this one up, other than stick through with it. It gets weirder (and better) as it goes along:

Oh, and this one is also from Japan, but it's a totally weird game show. I saw a clip of this on CNN the other day:

Mistaken Identity

2007-08-28T00:23:00.000-07:00

My phone bleeped and buzzed last night around 11pm. It was a text from my sister. It read, "Stu, ya jerk!" I had no idea what it meant and assumed it was a mistake - a text she meant to send to someone else. So, I sent back a confused, "What?"

"Whatever, Stu," she replied. I was thrown for a loss.

Then, John, my brother-in-law called me. Before I even said hello, he said, "I have to apologize for the texts..." Apparently, pictures of their dog, Winston, had been posted as a "dog of the day" on luvmutt.com.

Someone, named "Stu" made this sarcastic comment:

"I hope Winston hasn't been neutered, because this page proves he's the last hope to carry on the family line."

Both Erin and John assumed it was me cracking a joke, and John retaliated by posting the following comments on my last blog post:

At 8/27/2007 11:22 PM, Anonymous said...

This blog is so lame. I sure hope whoever writes this crap doesn't quit his dayjob as an accountant or something... (Ed. Note: John is an accountant. Insert your own joke here.)

At 8/27/2007 11:28 PM, Stu said...

hey everybody, my blog is so cool...what happens if i move? live from mount pleasant ave? (Ed. note: Mt. Pleasant Ave. was the first street I lived on)

The only problem: I wasn't the guy who posted as "Stu." I hadn't been home all night. Apparently, John forgot he sent the link to a friend whose last name is "Stewart" and goes by "Stu." And I guess this "Stu" also cracks jokes.

John asked me to delete the comments that he wrote on this blog as a response. I did. He felt really bad. But I never promised that I wouldn't post them.

Now That's Just Smart

2007-08-26T18:17:00.001-07:00

I've been a bit busy lately to sit and write anything, so instead, I'll just post this video of Miss Teen South Carolina sounding brilliant. So brilliant, in fact, that I can't even understand how she got from point A to point B:

Aww, Nuts!

2007-08-09T14:43:00.000-07:00

Someone at the office just sent me a link to a video of a crazy game show from Japan (What other kind is there?) It is worth seeing:

And it reminded me of the end of this old SNL sketch where Chris Farley ends up in the crazy game show in Japan. If you haven't seen it, you'll know what I mean when you get to 5:50 in the video:

Earthquake?

2007-08-09T10:38:00.000-07:00

I was deep asleep last night, when I woke up to our apartment shaking and moving. Heather asked me, "Is that the cat?"

"No," I said. "The cat can't make earthquakes."

I then shrugged off the moment and went back to sleep.

(Editor's note: the exchange between Heather and I was slightly re-written for humor purposes)

Saturday Silliness: Jailhouse Thriller

2007-07-21T10:04:00.001-07:00

I saw this video on a few different sites and figured I'd share it. It's the inmates at the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center in the Philippines performing the dance routine from Thriller. Don't believe me? Click play:

Horny Potter

2007-07-16T13:00:00.000-07:00

As I was sitting in the theater, watching the latest Harry Potter, all I could think about was Daniel Radcliffe's appearance on the 2nd season of "Extras," which is brilliant in so many ways. Radcliffe played himself and was trying his best to seem much older than he was. These are the two scenes that kept popping in my head during the movie.

In the movie, as "Harry Potter" was kissing a girl, all I could think of was him saying, "I've been with a girl, intercourse-wise."

Saturday Silliness: Will It Blend?

2007-07-14T18:42:00.000-07:00

Back in the 80's, David Letterman gained a lot of popularity for crushing things under steamrollers and throwing things off of buildings. Every once in a while, he'll throw some stuff off the Ed Sullivan Theater roof and it'll make a nice crash, but he doesn't do it nearly as much as he did back at NBC. Letterman's old-school ideal was: Break stuff and make it look cool.

Well, today, I stumbled onto videos on youtube that reminded me of the old-school Letterman. It's called:

And it is exactly what you'd expect. Put things into a blender and see what happens. Now, watch host Tom Dickson blend away:

iPhone:

Glow Sticks:

Golf Club:

Hockey Pucks:

Baseball:

And for first person perspective, a working video camera:

There's a bunch of these on youtube. I hope that one day, I too, can blend things and put them on youtube.

Happy 10th Birthday, OK Computer

2007-07-10T23:37:00.000-07:00

Ten years ago, this summer, I was living at my parents' house in Charlotte, NC, waiting to start senior year of college, and working a part-time gig at Blockbuster. I also was in a phase where I was watching way too much MTV, but this was pre-"My Super Sweet 16"-era MTV, when they were still a music based network with only a few reality shows (not that I'm complaining - those shows keep many of us employed - but I do miss music videos).

Anyway, one day, I was watching and I caught this video just after it started:

I was totally freaked out: crazy fucking video, insane song, haunting vocals. Before the ending credits came on, I knew it was Radiohead. I had "Pablo Honey," but the whole album was a bit mediocre, and friends of mine had "The Bends," but I hadn't listened to it. Can't say I was a huge fan at that point.

As soon as the video for "Paranoid Android" ended, I wanted to hear it again, and again, and again, and again. But I had to wait. Radiohead's new album, "OK Computer," wasn't coming out for another two weeks. I kept watching MTV, hoping just to catch a glimpse of that video, and I did here and there. But it wasn't enough. Finally, the day arrived and "OK Computer" came out. I really was just wanted to play "Paranoid Android" over and over again.

So during a break at work, I wandered from Blockbuster to Ernie's Records, a small, family-owned record store around the corner in the same strip mall. I used to go in there a lot whenever I was home from college. Not just for the music, but because my sister worked there and could hook me up with discounts. I had to dig around Ernie's for "OK Computer" because it wasn't a "big" enough band to justify space on the "New Arrivals" shelf. I kinda felt like I had a secret treasure in my hand.

That night, I was on the late shift and was part of the closing crew at work. For closing, you had to straighten up and clean the store for the next morning. And to keep us entertained, every night, we'd either put on a movie or a CD and blast it through the store's sound system. I asked if my co-workers minded if I played my new Radiohead CD. No one had heard of them, but they didn't seem to mind. I popped it in and turned up the volume:

As the opening strains of "Airbag" blared out of our system, my coworkers all turned and looked at me like I was crazy: "What the fuck is this shit?" But right away, I knew it was something great. We kept the CD on for a the cleaning, but I missed half of it because I had to vacuum the front of the store.

I rushed home and put it in my CD player and put on my headphones and listened and listened and listened. I don't think it left my CD player that entire summer. I would often sit outside, during the humid Carolina nights, listening to the CD, drinking a beer, and reading Donna Tartt's "The Secret History," a book that seemed to fit the spooky vibe of "OK Computer" perfectly.

It was my summer record, and it carried over into senior year. I don't think my girlfriend at that time was a big fan of it. Yet I always insisted that it was good for her to listen to, mainly because I felt she needed to expand her musical tastes beyond James Taylor, Phish, and Dave Matthews. I don't think it worked (although I do take pride in getting her into Lou Reed's 1989 classic song, "Dirty Blvd," but that's another story for another day.)

Blake and I were talking about "OK Computer's" tenth anniversary sneaking up on us. It's still an amazing record and holds up as well as it did ten years ago. It's easily my favorite record of the 90's...yes, better than Nirvana's "Nevermind." (I love "Nevermind," but this had more of an impact on me, and, it didn't bring about as many crappy clone bands like Seven Mary Three or Candlebox. Thanks for that crap, Nirvana!)

For Radiohead, it's seen as their burden. Everything they do will always be compared to it, fairly or not. But for me, it's really just a great record, that I can listen to at any time. It does take me back to that summer of '97. There was a sense, back then, that the record was something special, but that not enough people knew about it. I'm glad that ten year later, it's still special, but not just to me - to a lot of other people too.

A little bonus for those who like the album:

You can find a really cool tribute to the album at Stereogum, who actually got a number of artists to cover the album and write about their songs. Plus, you can download it for free. Some covers are better than overs, but it's free, so stop whining.

And hypeful.com has put together this compilation of covers they had.

Who Needs The Kwik-E-Mart?

2007-07-10T22:07:00.000-07:00

To quote Apu, "I DOOOOOOOOO!"

Yesterday, Patry, myself, and our co-worker, Frank, went over to the 7-11-turned-Kwik-E-Mart in Burbank. It's a promotion for "The Simpsons Movie," and they did a really damn good job with it. They obviously put a lot of thought into it. It's been extremely popular and the lines have been out the door. We waited between 5-10 minutes to get in, but it was worth it. What else were we going to do on lunch break? So, here's some photos...

Lots of cool signs:
This was on the side of the building:

There were all sorts of small things inside, too:
And of course, the pink donuts:

We each got boxes of four and shared with people. They were amazingly good.

We loaded up on Squishees, which were just Slurpees in a Squishee cup. I did have a sugar rush for a while.
And there's Simpsons characters everywhere:

A little display from some of the artists on the Simpsons:
And of course, Comic Book Guy leaves happily with nachos and comic.In honor of the Kwik-E-Mart, here's some classic videos:

Thank you, come again!

Five Years

2007-07-08T23:20:00.000-07:00

I apologize for those who enjoy brevity - this won't be a short post.

Part 1. "Five Years" by David Bowie

I've pondered this post for a while. How to start? What to talk about? Why should I write it? It's not an easy one. So let me just jump into it...

It was five years ago tonight that my mom died after a lengthy battle with ovarian cancer. An anniversary that I dread every year, but here it is, already five years later, a "big" anniversary: a half-decade. Talking with Erin (my sister) today, I mentioned that it went fast, and she remarked, "But at times, it felt like ten years." It's true. These five years have both flown by and crept by at a glacial pace.

The first year was the longest. Every day was something new to conquer - a "first" that you had to overcome emotionally as you realized that she wasn't around to share with you: the first day, the first week, the first month, the first birthday, the first mother's day, the first Christmas, the first six months, the first family vacation, etc. Getting through every one of those days was a challenge. I dreaded each and every one of them, but afterwards, there was a sigh of relief. "It's over. I never have to do that again for the first time," I'd think to myself.

For the first anniversary, Erin happened to be out here visiting, and I really needed her out here. It was a long buildup to that day. We drank to her memory, cried, and remembered the good times. It was not an easy night. But after that night, there were no more "firsts" that would pop up on an annual basis. Sure, there were things we'd have to deal with along the way, but the road had been paved. We'd made it part of the way, but there was a long way to go.

Part 2. "All Things Must Pass" By George Harrison

When it all happened, we were all in shock. We didn't sleep a wink that morning. At 5am, we started to clean in preparation of the funeral and the guests. The house had to look nice. Anything to get our mind off of it. I felt sick to my stomach, but cleaning was important. It stopped the tears for a few minutes. The house was impeccably clean by 8am.

What saved our sanity that day, and the days, weeks, and months that followed, were all of the family and friends who all were there for us. People calling, writing cards, emailing, driving and flying from near and far to be there for us. It was a distraction. Something to make us feel comforted.

It was an amazing outpouring of support, one that I will never forget. I don't think I said this at the time, but to each and all of you, whether you read this or not, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for your kind words, your hugs, your tears, your shoulder of support, your flowers, your memories, your kindness, and most of all, just being there. Without all of you, those days would've been impossible to get through. You all made those days tolerable. Five years later, I remember just feeling happy to know that you were all somewhere, thinking of my family, even if it were just for a brief moment.

But after those first few days, when things started to quiet down, that's when the reality set in: we're going to have to figure all of this out ourselves. I preferred it when people were flooding our house and calling non-stop. It made the days go by quicker.

Erin, Dad, and I tried to rally as best as we could, but it's not a simple process. We had to get back to "normal" and go back to work, to life, to things as they used to be. Coming back to LA was one of the toughest things I had to do. I was supposed to leave for LA was the night my Mom died, scheduled to fly out just hours before she died, but since she was in such bad shape, I had canceled my trip. By flying out to LA again, I was convinced that something bad would happen. It was challenging, but I managed. I really just wanted to stay at my dad's for a few more months. Everything would be easier, right? I guess there's just no easy way to deal and my life had to re-start.

Part 3. "Waiting On A Sunny Day" by Bruce Springsteen

The everyday sadness gradually faded as time wore on. I stopped crying at random songs, I stopped tearing up during sappy commercials, no more welling during TV shows with a slightly sad ending. The tears are now reserved for certain days. Mother's day isn't really fun, my birthday is getting slightly easier to tolerate, and Christmas has become much more of a celebration again. The good times come back to memory so much quicker than they used to. I can look at old family photo albums and enjoy them.

Speaking of photos, two days after mom died, we were pulling together photos for the funeral, and as I looked through one box, and randomly, I found a hand scribbled note that Mom had placed in there for some reason:

"Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level."

It's something I had heard, probably something Mom had read in a book and told me once before, but finding it less than 48 hours after her death, I took it as a message that she wanted me to get. Silly, I know, but I still have it framed and read it to this day as a reminder of the way she used to think through problems. It's nice to read it and get some motherly advice.

There was one other "sign" that I will never forget. For the wake, after Mom's funeral, we wanted people to remember her as she'd want: her beach chair out with her beach bag at the ready, and Motown classics playing over the loudspeaker.

As we were getting ready to end the afternoon, this is the song that was playing...

Part 4. "Someday We'll Be Together" by Diana Ross and the Supremes

Maybe there's an afterlife, maybe not, but for that one moment, I was comforted by the thought of being "reunited" with my Mom.

Obviously, it's been an emotional night for me as I write this. But over the last five years, my family and I have grown closer as we've dealt with the loss. The pain has quieted from what it once was, but it's still there. We're all having a tough one today, but tomorrow will be better.

And so, I'll say good night with this - the speech I read during my mom's funeral:

"This is not easy to do, but I’ve taken my mom’s advice, and I have to say, that I’m very thankful that you're all only wearing underwear today.

I can say so many things about my mom, but I wouldn’t know where to start. So let me explain a little bit about our family dynamic. Mom was our Margaret Dumont. Margaret Dumont, for those of you who don’t know, was an actress who starred as the comic foil for the Marx Brothers in just about all of their movies.

So I guess that makes Dad, Erin and I – Groucho, Chico and Harpo, although, Erin, I’m not sure which of us was Chico or Harpo. We both look like we could pass for an Italian and we both, too often, chose to speak with a sound effect instead of words. That, by the way, was a trait inherited from Dad’s side of the family.

In each Marx Brother’s movie, Margaret Dumont was dignified, well mannered, and proper, something that the Marx Brothers certainly weren’t. The Marx Brothers were crass, crude, and a little crazy. But she made their jokes funnier because she played off of it.

That’s what mom did for us. She played straight to our Marx Brothers. And she never cared. We’d sit at the table and joke and laugh, sometimes, it was even at her expense. Without fail, she’d always say, “Why don’t you lay me down and just pick on me like I’m a banjo.” But she loved to see that we laughed and had fun as a family. And that’s why she’d be so happy today to see all of you.

You were all her family. She didn’t care who you were: her son, a brother or sister-in-law, a co-worker, a friend of dad’s, the checkout kid at Harris Teeter, it didn’t matter. She instantly had a bond with you somehow. If you said hello to her, chances are she might talk your ear off for a few hours. She felt like she had to make you comfortable, no matter what the situation was. You could have her over to your house, hosting her, and soon enough, she’d probably turn the tables and end up hosting you.

But even the great hosts have their frustrating moments. She hated when Erin and I fought and she’d make threats to get us to stop. If she were making us toast for breakfast and Erin and I were bickering, she’d say, “What are you going to do when I’m gone?” We’d stop bickering for a brief second and say, “We know how to make toast. We’re okay.” She never took that too well, for some reason. Today, I’m happy to say that between the three of us, we are able to toast a piece of bread. But I don’t think that was her point.

What are we going to do now that she’s gone? We’ll cry a lot. But more importantly, we’ll remember how great she was to all of us, and how bravely she fought for the last 2 and ½ years. Sadly, bravery doesn’t always come out on top in a challenge like this, but bravery made her fight look easy at times. It got her through farther than most could have handled.

Her fight against cancer is the last of many life lessons she taught me: be brave in the face of adversity, laughter makes life easier, remember how important friends and family are, and always, always make sure the toaster is on light to medium.

Goodbye, mom. I miss you. I love you."

Germans Singing Black Sabbath

2007-07-06T17:28:00.000-07:00

Black Sabbath's "Paranoid" is amazing.

It's even better when sung by some German couple and their dog:

The Following Blog Is Rated...

2007-07-03T15:07:00.000-07:00

Mingle² - Free Online Dating

Fuck, I wanted a fucking "R" rating. Damn it, you assholes!!! Give me my fucking "R" rating!!!!

(Click on the logo above to see your blog rating)

UPDATE! NICE!!!:

Mingle² - Online Dating

I guess adding a few curses works!

The Return of Pearl

2007-06-25T18:13:00.000-07:00

She was tough in "The Landlord," but now she's out for blood in "Good Cop, Baby Cop:"

Good Cop, Baby Cop

FLUTE HERO!!!

2007-06-20T13:41:00.000-07:00

For those who don't have Guitar Hero, here's a substitute:

(click on the picture to access the site)

The funny thing is Heather and I were joking about it the other day. Now it's a reality!!! Dreams can come true!!!

Misheard Lyrics

2007-06-13T16:42:00.001-07:00

(Thanks, Blake!)

Hank Kingsley, Ballplaya

2007-06-10T16:28:00.000-07:00

Is there much better than a weekend of watching "Best of Larry Sanders?"

Nope.

Subtle Campaigning: #404

2007-06-10T12:23:00.000-07:00

Two years ago, I worked on a documentary series about a New York tabloid newspaper. It was easily the hardest I've ever worked in my life, and it's probably the best thing I've worked on (and easily the one thing I've worked on that critics really liked!)

While the network (hint: a word people yell to applaud a performer) liked it, they didn't make a major push behind it as they did with their other shows. Our little show didn't fit in with everything else on their network. So they buried us and quietly burned off our little show. It was disappointing, but they promised, when it comes time for award season, we'll push it just as we would any of our other, more successful shows. And let's face it, if you don't get ratings on a good show and you know it's not coming back, your only hope is to get some Emmy votes - a validation that your work is good despite the fact that no one watched it.

For those who don't know, over the last few months, networks have sent out their Emmy screener DVD's to begin campaigning for votes. A little-seen show like this can truly benefit from a screener DVD. So when I got the "For Your Consideration" package from the network that aired this little show, I was, once again, disappointed that the network had decided to bury us again: no DVD. Nothing. Promise broken. Bummer.

But today, I filled out my ballot for nominations, and I was pleasantly surprised to find our little show. And some of the disappointment came rushing back, knowing that people will see the name of the show and think, "What the hell was this?" or just skip over it completely. But as I filled out the scantron bubble for #404 on the ballot, the disappointment washed over as I knew that the show got at least one vote from me...and that I can somewhat subtly campaign for it on my blog to get a couple more votes.

Sad, But True...

2007-06-05T17:14:00.002-07:00

Yes world, he might still be sexy, but, start crying...
...Enrique isn't as perfect as you thought he was.

We can only pray it's only a slight flaw, like "I once lost my friend's copy of 'Amorica' in college and didn't replace it," or "I never beat Grand Theft Auto 3," or "My pinky toe isn't made of diamonds." If that's the case, then we might make it through this tough time after all.

(BTW, this was what popped up on yahoo. Seriously, it's the center of the page.)

Arcade Fire at the Greek: The Videos

2007-05-31T10:09:00.001-07:00

The last two nights, Heather and I went to the Greek Theatre to see two Aracde Fire shows. I will review later, but to keep those interested busy, here's two videos I took on Wednesday night.

"Intervention:"

"Wake Up:"